Cingulomania || Nerd X Popular || Jimin FF

Chapter 23: Escape🎗️

Jimin's POV

I watch Y/N leave, the door closing softly behind her. My head pounds, a dull ache that matches the confusion swirling inside me. I was about to kiss her... I can't believe I almost did that. What the hell is wrong with me?

I stumble over to the bed and collapse onto it, burying my face in the pillow. The scent of her still lingers in the air, making everything worse. I roll over, staring up at the ceiling, replaying the moment in my mind. 

Her eyes, the way she looked at me... how could I almost ruin everything?

I groan, covering my face with my hands. I feel like an idiot. An absolute idiot.

I can't let this happen. I can't mess up what we have. But damn it, I want her so much. I can't even deny it anymore, but if I tell her... if I make a move... everything could fall apart. I've kept this to myself for so long, but tonight, with the alcohol in my system, I almost lost control.

I sigh deeply, feeling the exhaustion pull at me. My thoughts are a mess, and my heart is even worse. Why did I have to go and get so drunk? Why did I have to let my guard down? Why did I have to feel this way about her?

I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to face her tomorrow, or the day after. All I know is that I have to try. I can't lose her. I can't push her away. But I also can't keep pretending that these feelings don't exist.

I close my eyes, trying to block out the thoughts, the regret, the longing. But sleep doesn't come easily. All I can think about is how close I came to ruining everything... and how I might have already done just that.

I roll onto my side, clutching the pillow tight. The room feels like it's spinning, the alcohol still coursing through my veins. I need to sober up, to clear my head, but every time I close my eyes, all I can see is her. Y/N, lying beneath me, her eyes wide with... what? Fear? Confusion? Maybe something else?

I groan, rubbing my temples, trying to will away the headache and the memories. I can't believe I let things get this far. I need to get a grip.

I pull the blankets over me, shutting out the world. The room is too quiet, too still, and it makes the thoughts in my head louder, more insistent. I force myself to focus on my breathing, trying to calm down, trying to drift off.

But it's no use. I keep replaying the moment in my head, the way I almost kissed her, the way I almost crossed that line. And now, I'm lying here, regretting everything, wishing I could take it all back.

I need to sleep. I need to sober up and figure out what the hell I'm going to do. But sleep doesn't come easy, and the alcohol isn't wearing off fast enough. All I can do is lie here, trapped in my own thoughts, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.

Eventually, exhaustion starts to take over. My eyes grow heavy, and I begin to drift off, the weight of everything pressing down on me. But even as I start to fall asleep, I know that this isn't over. Tomorrow, I'll have to face her. Tomorrow, I'll have to figure out how to move forward.

But for now, all I want is to escape—if only for a few hours.

Y/N's POV

I close the door to Jimin's dorm quietly behind me, leaning against it for a moment as I try to collect my thoughts. My heart is still racing from what just happened. The way he looked at me...the way he almost kissed me. I can still feel the warmth of his body, the intensity in his eyes.

I press a hand to my chest, trying to steady my breathing. What was that? I mean, I've seen Jimin drunk before, but never like this—never so raw and unfiltered. The way he leaned in, the way he hesitated... it felt like he was wrestling with something deep inside.

I shake my head, trying to clear it. No. I can't let myself get caught up in this. I can't let myself believe that there's something more when there might not be.

But still... the way he looked at me...

I push off the door and head down the hallway, my steps slow and uncertain. My mind is racing with a million thoughts, my emotions a tangled mess. Part of me wants to run back to him, to ask him what he was thinking, what he was feeling. But another part of me...

Another part of me is scared.

Scared of what he might say. Scared of what he might not say.

I wrap my arms around myself, feeling the cold of the hallway seep into my skin. I need to clear my head. I need to think this through.

I make my way back to my dorm, the silence of the night pressing in around me. My mind keeps replaying everything James said earlier—his warnings, his accusations. Could any of it be true? Is Jimin really just playing with me?

But then I remember the way Jimin looked at me, the way his eyes softened when he saw me in his dorm. The way he almost kissed me but then stopped himself. If he was really playing games, why would he stop?

I sigh as I reach my dorm and push the door open. I know I shouldn't be doubting Jimin. I know him better than that. But James' words keep echoing in my mind, sowing seeds of doubt that I can't quite shake.

I crawl into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. I'm exhausted, but sleep feels impossible. My mind is a whirlwind of emotions—confusion, hope, fear, longing. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to feel.

All I know is that tomorrow, I need to talk to Jimin. I need to find out the truth.

And maybe, just maybe, I need to find out what's really in my own heart too.