𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐟𝐞

23

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Read at your own risk, it may trigger people! 

Sometime in the middle of the night she was awakened. Someone was sitting on the edge of her bunker bed. She stiffened. "Take it easy," someone whispered.

It was Bethany, she knew her voice, why is she awake, why is she whispering, Mayur thought

"It's only me." She said again,  but Mayur's eyes were closed, she said nothing, just lay there and waited.

"Thought you might like trying something fun," Bethany said and  reached a hand under the sheet and laid it gently on Mayur's belly she was on her back. The hand stayed there for awhile, and her body remained stiff.

"Don't be uptight," Bethany cooed "I ain't gonna hurt nothing." She giggled softly, "I'm just horny. You know what it's like to be horny ?"

Obviously she didn’t know.

"Just relax. I'm just going to rub a little. It'll feel good, if you let it." Mayur turned her head toward the corridor door. It was shut. The light, as usual, came under it. She could hear distant voices, down at the desk. Bethany's hand was moving downward.

Mayur shook her head. "Don't..." she whispered.

"Hush now," Bethany said. Her hand moved down farther, and one finger began to rub up and down. It did not hurt, but something in Mayur resisted it. She felt herself perspiring.

"Ah shit," Bethany said. "I bet that feels good." She squirmed a little closer to Mayur and took her hand with her free one, pulling it toward her. "You touch me, too," She said.

Mayur let her hand go limp. Bethany  guided it up under her sweatpant until the fingers grazed a place that felt warm and damp.

"Come on now, press a little," Bethany whispered. The intensity in the whispering voice was frightening. Mayur did as she was told and pressed harder.

"Come on, baby," Bethany whispered, "move it up and down. Like this." She started moving her finger on Mayur. It was terrifying. Mayur rubbed Jolene a few times, trying hard, concentrating on just doing it. Her face was wet with sweat and her free hand was clutching at the sheet, squeezing it with all her might.

then Bethany's face was against hers and her arm around Beth's chest. "Faster," She whispered. "Faster."

"No," Mayur said aloud, terrified, "No, I don't want to." She pulled her hand away.

"Fucking bitch" Bethany said aloud.

Footsteps came running up the hallway, and the door opened. Light streamed in.

It was one of the night people whom Mayur had no idea about. But it was a lady, that she was sure off judging by the perfume, she stood there for a long minute. Everything was quiet. Bethany was gone. Mayur didn't dare move to see if she was back in her own bed. Finally the woman left. Mayur looked over and saw the outline of Bethany's body back in bed.

That night she couldn’t sleep at alland  felt wretched from not sleeping. "You are the ugliest girl ever," the same voice that was cooing in her ear last night said, in a stage whisper. She had come up to her in the line for the little boxes of cereal. "Your nose is ugly and your face is ugly and your skin is like mud. You brown trash cracker bitch"

*******

It's been 4 days Ezekiel indicated indirectly what exactly he wanted, for her to move in in his room.

That's a huge step!

this was what she was afraid of.

and why wouldn’t she be!

she always suffered from self doubt.

Haphephobia, that's what she had for years.

she hated human touch.

A single touch even with the tip of a stranger's finger would make her see red, that intense overwhelming fear she wasn’t able get over, it's been over a decade now.

Somebody touching her except of her family member, even then; she would always maintain safe distance, though only six people actually knew about it, Kallan, Marianna, Yohan, Cole, Natalie and her cousin Farhana, not even her parents.

She maintained a good facade infront of them.

and then her fear of not getting accepted, there was nothing worse than than taking your clothes off and seeing your body in mirror and having this gut wrenching realization that nobody may ever find you desirable.......

All those years in that hell, those nasty marks, scars she got, her experience when she was just 8, at first Harken and that girl that night,  both experience left her scarred for life.

though most of marks faded over the  past few years with treatments but what if he noticed the fading marks,..but still she could feel them in exact places, what if she does something untoward and he started asking questions, and he would,

what happens then ?

what will she say to him ?

how will she face him and more than anything what if he felt disgusted after he finds out ?

She would not be able to bear that, she will die for sure if that happens.

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