Shapeless

Ch 36 absence

Skyler still had no luck in finding Jason and she didn't want to turn up at his house without an invitation. Though he liked her, she still wanted to respect his privacy if he wanted space.
she gave a defeated sigh. It was all on her. Jason meant the world to her and now she had chased him away. "What am I even doing?" She muttered to herself. She had really tried to be better but screwed it up anyway.
having Jason gone was a hole in her chest. Something was terribly wrong with him absent it was as if she was wandering aimlessly without a map.
Skyler made her way down the halls and froze when a sudden scream blared in her mind.
She collapsed to the ground in shock and covered her ears.
at once she was flung into yet another terrible vision.
Skyler shivered on a dark path, the moon was shrouded in fog and the night sky felt ice cold and empty.
she shook herself and continued on.
a black cat skittered away and a cricket chirped. It was a perfectly normal night but she couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. she continued on when a movement behind her made her blood freeze. Wide eyed, she slowly turned around but nothing was there. "Hello?" It wasn't her voice.
not waiting for an answer she broke into a run. The wind whipped her face violently and her knees ached from the action but she didn't stop. she felt a slight prick In her back and whipped around in horror to see that terrible hood staring back at her. She screamed when the blade slid into her flesh and lodged between her shoulder blades.
Skyler gasped back into reality. She should have been used to this by now but each time left her more terrified than the last.
She gulped trying to steady her pounding heart.
the shapeless was still there lurking in the shadows.
Why did she have to have these powers? She couldn't change anything about it. Why have visions that she couldn't even stop? It was just psychological torture.
She sighed, feeling defeated.
"What can I do?"
She didn't have Jason there to comfort her so she had to take it upon herself to make it through.
She was an orphan, she should know how to handle it. But she had grown soft and gotten used to having the constant companionship. now that it was taken away it felt wrong.
she shook herself and made her way to the doors.
It was lightly snowing, but that wasn't what chilled her to the bone. Her visions ruled her life now that was just the truth.
She tried pushing away the sadness in her heart, making her way onto the bus.
Peter was already sitting down, his fox curled up at his feet.
"Skyler?" He noticed that something was wrong right away.
she forced a smile and sat down next to him.
"What's wrong?"
"I had another vision."
Peter nodded in understanding. "What was it about?" He prompted but Skyler heaved a sigh.
"Does it even matter?" She muttered bitterly.
Peter was taken aback.
"Of course it matters!" He spluttered.
"No it doesn't! I can't do anything to help anyway why does that make a difference?"Skyler shot back.
Peter was silent.
"I feel so useless Peter. I can't do anything right. I'm letting everyone down!" She buried her face in her hands.
He let her talk uninterrupted. "I can't do anything right. I feel the judgment in everyone's eyes when I walk down the hall and I wonder; is he the shapeless? Is she? Who can I trust anymore? No one!"
Peter blinked sadly. "You have me." He murmured kindly but she didn't hear.
"I feel like I can't be trusted to be who everyone needs me to be and I'm just going in circles. When will it end?" She lamented.
Peter's gaze softened and he laid a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey. Don't give up now." He comforted.
"What's the point in going on when your very existence is a burden?"
Peter tensed at the statement. "Skyler don't say that, you know it's not true!" He protested.
"No one needs me the world would be so much better off without me." She muttered darkly but peters eyes widened in fear. "Please don't say that little hawk. I don't know what I would do without you." His voice grew strained with emotion. "Please I know I mess up I know I'm not perfect but I'm even more imperfect without you! Please don't leave me again."
He felt the tears roll down his cheeks and his vision grew blurry.
"Please please I can't lose you." He whispered.
At once Skyler recognized the sight of his trauma triggering.
She crouched down next to him, he had curled up on the floor.
"Hey. I'm not going anywhere." She soothed, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm sorry."
He heaved a few breaths. They stayed like that for a few moments until they broke the contact.
"Better?" She prompted, worried.
Peter nodded sadly. "I'm sorry sky I don't know why-" he began but she shook her head to stop him.
"Panic attacks are no joke. You have a right to feel your emotions. Sometimes when bad things happen to good people it's not so easy to let go. That's okay, you don't have to let go yet."
Peter blinked. Skyler sounded wise beyond her years. He was beginning to calm down.
"I need you." He smiled sadly.
"I know." Skyler sucked in a breath, feeling guilty.
"Why don't you come over to my place tonight?" He offered. "Take time to wind down."
Skyler's eyes glistened. "Really?" She whispered, remembering that soft welcoming bed she had woke up in that one morning.
Peter nodded kindly. "You are always welcome with me Skyler. No matter how you feel about yourself."
Skyler felt the world fade away and she stared at him. Peter had said exactly what she needed to hear. How did someone as perfect as him exist? It was like she had this constant support with her no matter what. It was a foreign feeling to her but she didn't dislike it.
It was more like she didn't know how to respond. So many emotions were flowing through her at once and she didn't know what to say.
Peter didn't even hesitate when he saw the lone tear drop down her face, pulling her into a hug.
She froze, unable to move. The feeling of his comfort calmed her nerves somewhat but it made her grow sad.
"I wish Jason was here." She sniffled.
"I know little hawk. I know." Peter rocked her back and forth sweetly.
"It's not fair what is happening but it's our life. We have to find a way to push forward. This is not the end." He said motivationally.
Skyler nodded sadly and released a defeated sigh.
It was true. This is my life now.