Heartbreak High: New Hope

26

(Alec)

As I left the bathroom, the weight of my conversation with Lucas hung heavy in the air. Did I do the right thing?

My doubts clawed at my chest as the muffled sound of a loud thump echoed against the bathroom sink and crept through the door.
Should I turn back? I thought, but Jason's haunting voice in my head made it almost impossible.
You'll only hurt him, like you hurt me, like you hurt everyone.

The words stung, a bitter truth I couldn't deny. I wasn't trying to hurt Lucas; I just had to keep him far away from the damage I caused to the people I care about.

Despite the ache of regret, leaving him was the only choice. As I mounted my bike and vanished into the night, a pang of longing flickered within me. But I fought and pushed it aside, knowing his safety from me outweighed my desires.

Being home offered no refuge as I stepped into the familiarity of my room, flicking on the lights in a feeble attempt to dispel the doubts swirling within me. The sight of Lucas's sweater reignited memories, transporting me back to the art room. It was like I couldn't stop reliving the memory over and over, feeling his touch, staring into his eyes.

The longing coursed through me, an ache to bridge the distance between us, to taste the forbidden sweetness of his lips. Yet reality crashed down, a brutal reminder that this was for the best.

Frustration boiled within, erupting in an impulsive strike against my desk, a futile attempt to silence the turmoil within.
"Is everything alright, Alexander?,"
My father's voice pierced through the storm, drawing my gaze to his concerned that reflected in the dim light of my room. With his broad shoulders and chiseled jawline, dressed casually in shorts and a grey tank, he looked like he had just stepped out of the gym, beads of sweat glistening on his forehead.

Gathering myself, I mustered a tight smile. "Yeah, Dad, everything's fine," I forced out, though the strain in my voice betrayed the facade. Despite my assurances, the storm within me raged on, concealed beneath a fragile veneer of composure.

His unexpected return caught me off guard, prompting a spontaneous,
"You're back."
He nodded, revealing that his meeting had ended early.
"Where's mum?"
I queried.
"She's in the shower I presume" he replied.
"Is everything alright?" He asked again, his expression riddled with worry.

Desperate to mask my inner turmoil, I reassured him with a nod. But his lingering scrutiny betrayed his skepticism. "Are you sure?" he prodded, and my response, though firm, carried a tinge of frustration, "I'm fine, Dad."
With a sigh, he relented, his uncertainty evident. "Well, if you say so," he conceded still not looking convinced, "I'm going to head back downstairs," he added to which I replied with a nod before I watched him retreating from my room.

Alone once more, I exhaled heavily, the weight of my decision settling like a leaden shroud upon my shoulders.

Stepping onto the balcony, I leaned against the railing, gazing into the vast expanse of the night sky. Doubt gnawed at my resolve, questioning the path I'd chosen with Lucas. Uncertainty cloaked me, casting a shadow over the solitude of the night, leaving me adrift in a sea of unanswered questions I was sure would haunt me for the whole night.

But what would undoubtedly be a challenge is staying away from him, Lucas was like a gravitational pole and I couldn't think of being away from him, especially now. I had tasted the fruit and I wanted more.

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