He's got the whole world in his hands | Jeongin

Chapter thirty-seven

He scanned every pew while he talked, but he was left feeling disappointed. There was a hollowness inside his bones that he couldn't stand. He was forced to hide the disappointment and despair and continue on with his service like usual.

Felix was in his normal spot, three rows away from the front. He picked that row because it forced him to listen to the preacher. He had a habit of letting his thoughts drift him away from Jeongin's voice. Being up front, he pressured himself into listening. He even began to jot down notes in a notebook he brought along. It was another way to keep him focused on the word of God.

Suki's father was near the middle of the sanctuary. He sat in one of the pews and gripped his Bible to his chest tightly. Ever since Suki committed suicide, he had been a wreck. Jeongin had seen the extent of his grief first-hand. After the news broke, he instantly found Father Yang to ask if he could be the one to preach at the funeral.

Jeongin didn't realize the man even had a daughter. She never attended service and he just assumed the guy lived alone. He had no idea how much his heart carried. Two lines of grief now tangled. His wife was dead and now Suki was dead too. He couldn't imagine how it'd feel to have every family member deceased.

Jeongin was fortunate with what he had. Despite his brother being deceased, he still had both parents. He thanked God for them every evening. When things were becoming chaotic in his life, he always sought out the advice and love from his parents.

Unfortunately, he didn't get their love until later in his life. The stitches in his parents' eyes were ripped out when his brother passed. For once, their two sons became one and the one became deceased. It was morbid, but he often wondered if his parents had any lingering thoughts about the situation.

Late at night and alone with his thoughts, he often wondered if they wished it was him instead of Daeyung. Daeyung was the most talented of the pair. He hated to admit it, but Daeyung was the better looking one too. If he would have grown into his adult features, he could have had any woman he pleased.

The extra baby fat in his cheeks would have dissolved. The roundness of his face would have shifted and sank into sharper features. He could have had everything, but God's timing is always right. At least, that's what his parents muttered beneath their breath while fighting back tears.

"God's timing is always right."

Words uttered from generation to generation. A verbal reminder that whatever happens, it happens for a reason. Jeongin knew that everything happened for a reason. It's why he worked so hard to please his parents after his brother's death. It's why he became a priest in the first place.

He wanted to remind people that there was always hope, always a light after the darkness. Maybe that light doesn't become visible until later, but it's still there. To give up means to snuff it out. It was an option that he just wasn't comfortable with. Everything happens for a reason. God's timing is always right.

In the front row off to the left, Nari Park sat up straight. With both feet flat on the floor and a ramrod back, she watched Father Yang like a hawk. She observed the way he smiled when he talked about the good. The furrow in his brow when he spoke of temptation. The ways his hands gestured to accentuate the words he was speaking.

Every time he walked over in her direction, her heart fluttered. She had been so lonely since her husband died. The strained relationship between her and her daughter was slowly killing her. She desperately needed Father Yang to talk some sense into Minsi before it was too late.

"And that is why-" Jeongin was cut off twenty minutes later. Through the wide opening of the back sanctuary, Minsi stepped inside with a black floral dress. He could see the way the see-through floral design wrapped around her torso and chest. A built-in grayed dress slip sat beneath it, so her body couldn't be seen.