He's got the whole world in his hands | Jeongin

Chapter forty-seven

Ever since that ouija board session, things hadn't been the same. At least, not in Minsi's head. She kept finding herself wanting to go back and get answers. Han and Minho probably wouldn't agree, but the conversation with that little boy kept coming back to haunt her.

How old was he? Was he at peace? Obviously he knew he was dead, but was he stuck that way? Could he haunt people and make his presence physically known or was it something else entirely? The other side had always perked up a curiosity even with or without God.

Holiday break seemed to come around all too fast. Minsi didn't want to leave, but Minho and Han were going back to their parents' house. She could have stayed in their apartment, but she didn't want to run up the electricity bill. Besides, she would have been entirely alone. Considering what happened the last time she was alone on campus, she'd rather be back with her mother.

There was no rekindling that relationship, but she was almost free. Only a few more months and then she'd be free. Free to start up her own therapy business. Free to get a job working somewhere to put her psychology degree to good use. She'd go somewhere away from Providence and away from the neighboring town that her college campus was in.

Like a bird, she'd fly off and travel. She wasn't sure where she wanted to go exactly, but she knew she wanted to get away. Han and Minho were staying in their apartment until after the summer was over. After she graduated, she planned on getting a job and saving every penny she had. When the pair left to pursue their own careers, she'd find a new place to stay.

Some people ground themselves to the places they grew up in. Roots stuck in the dirt and they'd continued growing and blooming in the same place. For Minsi, it wasn't like that. Even when her father was still alive, she knew she didn't want to stay in Providence.

The small town seemed to be littered with churches on every corner. The hurt seeped too far into her soul. Sometimes the conversations from her mother came back to her randomly. For some, it's so easy to believe in the goodness of religion. It's easy to believe that things are going well. It's easy to believe in some divine flawless creator.

Religion is different for everyone. Some see the bible as what it is and some see it as a story full of old fables. Some use it to script and sculpt their everyday life from it. Others tend to cherry-pick the parts that seem valuable and throw the other words to the wind.

Nari Park was the kind of person to pick out verses that only obtained to her. God was everlasting, powerful, and infinite. Life was short, but with God, goodness and purity was forever. She couldn't wait to finally meet him one day at the gates of heaven.

"Mom?" Minsi's front two teeth were missing. The gummy pink gaps had yet to fill with adult teeth. Pigtails were lopsided on the sides of her head. After a day full of Sunday school, she wanted to discuss what she had learned with her mother.

"Yes, Minsi?" Her mother caught her eyes in the rearview mirror. She smiled and waited for her daughter to speak.

"We learned about Abraham and Isaac today."

"That's a really good story! Abraham did an excellent job at following God's word. What can you learn from the story?"

"We should obey God."

"That's right! It's very, very, very important to obey God and his word. God provides us and blesses us in a variety of ways. The least we can do is do what he asks of us to do."

Minsi had to be about seven or eight in the backseat. Sunday school leaders taught the kids with puppets on a small stage. Minsi knew the puppets were just playing pretend behind the stage. The kids sat criss-cross on the floor and watched the puppets tell the story.

Animals had been hand painted on the room's walls. On one side, Noah's ark was painted in exquisite fine detail. She always found herself being captivated by the elephants and two of every animal. During this story, she couldn't help, but feel sad for Isaac.

"Mom?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Isaac was Abraham's son."

"Uh-huh."

"Was Abraham really going to kill him for God?"

Nari hadn't expected such a difficult question, but she didn't want to lie to her daughter either. "Yeah, he was. God's words are very important. Obeying God can be hard sometimes, but it's very important that we do as he asks. He gave his son up for us and if needed, we can do the same too."

"What if God asked you to sacrifice me for him?"

"Then I'd reread the story of Abraham and Isaac and remind myself that no matter how scary and how hard the decision is, God is always right. I consider myself to be a believer, so yes. If God asked me to sacrifice you for him, I would."

Little Minsi's heart dropped to her stomach. She swallowed nervously and her bottom lip quivered. "B-But I don't want to die."

"Oh, sweetheart, it'd be over so fast, you wouldn't feel it. God hasn't asked anything of me like that. He could, but you have a purpose. If your purpose is to please God then you should feel honored about it. God only picks the best people to act through."

In the back seat, Minsi struggled to keep her tears hidden from her mom. Watery eyes blinked rapidly. The candy she had consumed after memorizing a bible verse, before she left Sunday school, threatened to come back up. Her stomach twisted and turned.

"Please don't kill me."

"Calm down, sweetheart. Just because we're talking about it, it doesn't mean it'll happen. I'm just preparing for the future, so you know. It might happen and it might not. No matter what happens, I love you and I love God too. We can always reunite in heaven." She sent her daughter a reassuring smile in the mirror, but Minsi didn't return it.

It was the first time, she feared her mother and she began to hate God.