He's got the whole world in his hands | Jeongin

Chapter fifty-four

If you have sex before marriage, you will rot. Your soul will burst into flames the moment your life distinguishes from your body. Judgment is cast down, souls blaze up, and you are doomed. Tossed down, down, down into the pits of roaring flames. You will cry and beg for water, you will beg for the coolness and purity of heaven. You will burn forever. 

Sluts. Whores. Harlots. The words were a repetitive gnawing and swung around with ease. Women throwing them at fellow women. Minsi grew up hearing them far too much. Nari Park cast judgment so easily. Was that all she was now? 

Gripping Jeongin's shirt so tight, she could barely breathe. The movement between them and the noises bounced off the walls like a symphony. Was it love hidden by lust? Was it curiosity and temptation?   

It was a miracle that nobody walked in on the two of them. The primal urge and animalistic noises seeping from their mouths would be met with wide eyes full of terror. The scent of sex hung heavy in the air. They weren't that far from the basin of holy water. These pews would be full of people in a few days. 

It was so wrong, but it was so right. Nothing had ever felt this good before. The way Minsi's body shook and reacted to his touch, it was so powerful. The swirl of dominance inside of him had never been revealed until now. He didn't know he had it in him. 

Her arms lazily slung around his neck and her head lolled back. Pieces of her hair stuck to the sides of her forehead from sweat. Her head tipped back, exposing the smooth skin of her neck. Jeongin panted as he watched her. 

Like this, she was ethereal. Plastered in sweat, hazy from the pleasure, sore from the constant movement. No wonder people did this before marriage, it was addicting. He leaned forward and let his lips brush along the base of her neck. 

A mix between a growl and a whine escaped her throat. The sudden vibration made him pull back. Her face scrunched up and he didn't understand why. "Woah, are you alright?" 

There was a weak nod, but she still seemed out of it. His thumbs gently rubbed along her bare hips. The two were still sitting in the front view. Their bodies were still pressed against and molded together. "Do you want some help?" 

"I just wanna sit here," she finally uttered. "I just want to sit here and think." 

"Are you okay though? Should I not have-" 

He was cut off by a finger being gently pressed against his lips. "You talk too much. Just sit there and relax. Just enjoy it and shush." Her hand left and gently padded the side of his cheek. 

She was still Minsi Park. A face free of flies and sin. The plump lips and the darkened hickies ringing around her neck. God, she was beautiful. Nothing else mattered at this moment. It was just them and, to Jeongin's surprise, it felt nice. 

No worrying about people in the congregation. No more worrying about confession and trying to figure out how to help people. No more kids stealing cookies from cookie jars. No more men cheating on their pretty wives. It was a wave of relief and Minsi was right. He'd sit here and he was going to enjoy it. 

Her jeans had been ripped off and tossed to the side. Bare legs sat over his own and he wanted to be embarrassed, but he couldn't. His belt was unbuckled and down around his ankles, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered besides the girl breathing on his lap. 

He reached up slowly and pushed a piece of sweaty hair away from her forehead. He tucked it behind her ear and the simple gesture caused her eyes to open. He smiled softly at her. "Hi, there." 

"Hey." 

The smile on his face grew. Dimples poked into both sides of his cheeks and she fell again. Her heart beat rapidly in her caged sternum. When was the last time she met someone who made her feel like this? She couldn't remember. 

Life was dull after the assault. It all seemed worthless and pointless. The murky days dragged on and she drowned and drowned and drowned again. Yet, here she was. She was here and the sky was dark, it was. The ground shook with thunder and bright white bolts of lightning danced across the sky. 

It was exciting, yet it was terrifying. It was everything and it was nothing. This was the most she felt alive in the past few years. It was electrifying, it was soul reviving, and it was pulsating. Her blood circled her body with adrenaline and oxytocin. 

Life was so freeing without the shackles of religion wrapped around her wrists. She didn't care that she just screwed a priest in the catholic church. She didn't care that she orgasmed in the front row, right in front of the pulpit. She didn't care that the high didn't last long before they both finished. 

She was alive. Alive, still breathing, and she could feel. The touches didn't feel tainted anymore. Soft hands didn't hurt her. Hesitation and caution didn't turn to greed. Jeongin didn't harm her like she thought he would. Maybe she just assumed it after the assault. 

Her world flipped upside down after that night. Nothing seemed like it'd ever be okay again. She didn't know how to love. She didn't know how to have sex anymore. She didn't know how she'd trust someone enough to not use her. She didn't know if she'd ever be capable of loving anyone or anything ever again, but here she was. 

"I should have asked," Jeongin mumbled beneath his breath. 

"You didn't have to." 

"But I-" 

"I wanted to." Her hands cupped his cheeks again and a redness filled them. Jeongin's face burned while he studied her facial features. Just for a moment, he swore he saw something in her eyes, but then he blinked. He sucked in a deep breath and she smiled. 

He was supposed to be leading Minsi to God, but maybe she was leading him straight to the devil instead.