The Perfect Mask

Chapter 11: Unraveling

It happens one night, after yet another business dinner with my parents. I'm sitting in my room, staring at the wall, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on me. The itch is there, gnawing at me, demanding attention. But I can't go out. Not tonight. It's too risky. I've been too visible lately too many eyes on me.

But the need won't go away. It's like a beast inside me, clawing to get out. And for the first time, I feel like I'm losing control.

I try to distract myself, pacing the room, scrolling through my phone, anything to keep my mind off it. But nothing works. The beast is growing stronger, and I don't know how much longer I can keep it at bay.

I collapse onto the bed, my hands trembling. This isn't like me. I've always been in control, always been able to suppress the urges until the time was right. But now... now I'm unraveling.

My mind races, thoughts colliding in a chaotic whirlwind. What if I slip up? What if I make a mistake? The thought of being caught, of having my perfect image shattered, sends a wave of panic through me. But at the same time, there's a sick thrill to it a part of me that wants to be seen, to be known for who I really am.

The contradiction tears at me, pulling me in two different directions. Part of me wants to cling to the mask, to keep up the lie for as long as I can. But another part of me wants to rip it off, to let the world see the truth. To stop hiding.

But I can't. I know I can't. The consequences would be too great. If the world found out who I really am, everything would be over my career, my family, my freedom. I can't let that happen.

But the beast won't be silenced. It won't let me rest.

I close my eyes, trying to calm the storm inside me. I've been here before, on the edge of losing control. But I've always pulled back. I've always found a way to keep the beast contained.

This time will be no different. I just need to wait. I just need to hold on a little longer.