Beyond the Heart's Grasp

Kabanata 19

Kabanata 19

"Bakit hindi ka pa umamin?"

I looked at Trina, we were almost the only two who weren't drunk because we didn't drink too much. Hindi gaya sa mga kasamahan namin na marami talagang nainom kaya ang iba sa kanila ay lasing na, ang iba naman ay nakatulog sa coach at isa na roon si Aloha.

Aloha's head was on my shoulder, hindi pa tapos uminom sina Sage kaya hindi pa kami nakakauwi.

"What?"

Tumawa siya. "Come on, Diego. Alam naman naming gusto niyo talaga ang isa't-isa, naghihintayan lang kayong dalawa."

Umiwas ako ng tingin. Masiyado na ba akong halata at pati sila ay napansin 'yon? I tried to be as nonchalant as I could, pero baka sadyang hindi ko na talaga matatago.

"Tingin mo?"

"You really like her. I can see it, we can see it." she said. "Just don't let fear take over you. They say, take the risk or lose the chance? It's your choice."

I looked at Aloha, innocently sleeping on my shoulder, and thought. I actually agree with Trina, I just don't really know where my fear of admitting my feelings for her is coming from.

"In the two years we've been together at Digo's, it's like I've become your older sister," she said with a smile when I returned my gaze to her. Our families used to be business partners. She just graduated from college last year, and she's really rich. Pumasok siya sa Digo's dahil gusto niya daw munang ma-experience maging empleyado hanggang sa napamahal na siya sa Digo's. "Hindi sa pinapangunahan kita kasi ikaw pa rin naman ang masusunod. Pero bakit hindi mo subukan? Maganda si Aloha at hindi siya mahirap magustuhan. Baka maunahan ka pa ng iba.... or else... kapag handa kana, huli na ang lahat,"

Those words...

It was like a stab that woke me up. Totoong natatakot ako at hindi pa handang magtapat sa kaniya dahil sa mga posibilidad na pagbabagong mangyari. Pero kailan pa ba dapat ako magiging matapang? Kapag nakahanap na siya ng matapang na taong hindi matatakot na sabihin kung ano ang totoong nararamdaman niya para sa kaniya? Kapag huli na?

Mas natatakot ako doon. Hindi ko ata kaya 'yon.

"Just think about it, Diego." that was the last thing she said before excusing herself to go to the restroom.

Hindi ko na namalayan kung anong oras kami nagdesisyon na magsiuwian na dahil mga lasing na ang mga kasama namin. Almost all of them were picked up by their respective jowa kaya hindi na namin pinroblema ni Trina ang tungkol sa paghahatid sa kanila.

Buong biyahe ay walang ibang pumapasok sa isip ko kundi ang mga sinabi ni Trina matapos ang naging pag-uusap namin. Ngayon lang kami nakapag-usap tungkol sa personal na buhay at hindi ko lubos akalaing magiging iba ang epekto nun sa akin.

Hindi ko muna inuwi si Aloha sa kanila dahil ayokong ihatid siya na lasing and unconscious. Isa pa, nakapagpaalam naman kami sa Tita niya na bukas na siya makakauwi.

I took her to my room and made her sleep on my bed. Hinawi ko ang ilang hibla ng buhok niya na napunta sa mukha, ngayon ay nagkaroon ulit ako ng pagkakataon na matitigan ang napaka-perpekto niyang mukha.

God's wonderful creation, so perfect.

To Aloha,

It's nice seeing you again in my room, and I can't stop myself from admiring you. I still don't know what I did and the universe brought you to me. I'm completely drowned. And I'm sure, I won't be able to get out of it. But If I'm given the chance to escape, I'd rather stay drowned in you.