Accidentally Married

26. Secret kiss

Nai lay flat on his bed with his limps spread. He was exhausted and regretful.

Though things weren't going the way he wanted them to go, he shouldn't have taken out his frustrations on his little brother. He regretted yelling at Sak as soon as he landed in the country.

Honestly, he had missed the Sak so much. He missed their bickering as well as the latter's clinginess towards him.

He had never been the expressive kind when it came to showing affection and care. But neither his family nor his friends ever made him feel that it was a major flaw and had always loved him regardless.

But, for the first time in his life, Nai felt that his inability to express affection was a defect. He had noticed that throughout the party, Sak didn't look happy at all. 

There was a small time period when he looked happy that was when he met their parents. Other than that, Sak had been moody for the rest of the night.

Even Jui, who would always be cheerful and liked crowds and parties, didn't look good.

Nai felt guilty for having ruined their moods. It was supposed to be a happy occasion, and his actions had ruined it. If only he had kept his mouth shut, if only he hadn't snapped at his baby brother, things might have been different. 

Throughout the night, Sak had stuck close to Jui and to tell the truth, Nai couldn't deny that he was a bit envious. He envied Sak and Jui's bond. He envied how Sak would tell Jui anything and everything related to himself. 

He did have the self-awareness that he couldn't do it the way Jui does. He wouldn't be able to console Sak when he was sad or cheer him up when his mood was low the way Jui did it. But that didn't stop him from wanting to a supportive big brother for Sak.

Nai was really thankful that Zo had disappeared not long after the party started along with the Wongsrisai brothers. Or else, he would have had to introduce him to the close friends and family that were attending the party. He didn't know how he could have explained his connection with those rich kids, who were dresses in high end luxury brands from head-to-toe on a casual party.

Having Zo out of his sight had helped him calm down a lot. Zo's mere presence next to him often upset the balance in his emotions, making him feel terrible.

Nai pulled the duvet over him and repositioned himself, getting ready to sleep. He needed to give his brain a break.

A few minutes later, he heard the sound of the door being opened gently, making him alerted. His family didn't have the habit of entering his room without knocking. It had to be someone else.

He could hear the faint rustle of the sheets as someone approached him, the bed dipping slightly under the other person's weight. From the faint smell emitting from the person, he could identity that it was none other than his husband. He held his breath, closing his eyes tightly, willing himself to fall asleep, to avoid any interaction that might stir up his emotions again.

But then, he felt a soft, hesitant touch on his shoulder. His heart skipped a beat, the unexpected contact sending a jolt of surprise through him. He remained still, unsure of what to do.

"Nai, are you asleep already?" He heard Zo whisper next to him.

He never imagined that Zo would be back after not having seen him for the rest of the night. 

"You are asleep." Zo sighed softly and sat at the edge of the bed, staring at Nai.

"I was actually hoping that we could talk tonight." He fidgeted with his fingers. Nothing was going the way he wanted. Given what had happened earlier, he felt that his marriage was slipping through his fingers.

The soft moonlight filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow across the room.

Zo focused on memorizing every detail of this moment, the way Nai's hair fanned out across the pillow, the softness of his skin. In the past, he couldn't even imagine that he would find another guy to be so beautiful and attractive.

All these feelings were new, so foreign to him. These feelings made him feel giddy and anxious at the same time.

Carefully, so as not to wake Nai, he reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair from his face, tucking it gently behind his ear. His fingers lingered for a moment, tracing the curve of his husband's jaw, marveling at the warmth that radiated from the latter.

Nai was having a hard time controlling the urge to slap Zo's hand away. Yet, he knew that if he did it, he would have to talk to him and that was the last thing he wanted to do for the night.

Zo leaned closer, pressing his lips softly to his husband's forehead, a featherlight kiss that conveyed all the love he felt but could never quite put into words. 

Under the duvet, Nai clenched his fists, wondering what on earth Zo's meant by doing something like this when he clearly told him that he liked women.

A small sigh escaped Zo's lips. "I can't believe that tonight will be the first time we are going to sleep on the same bed. I have been looking forward to this day for a long time." 

He caught his hand in his, entwining their fingers, and brought it to his lips, planting a kiss on her knuckles. "Wait for me for me na. I will wash and come back."

Nai was frozen in place, his mind reeling. Instead of warmth from Zo's action, all he felt was a rush of cold anxiety.

He didn't respond. He couldn't. He watched in silence as his husband slipped out of the bed and left the room, the door clicking shut behind him. The moment he was gone, Nai let out a shaky breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

He sat up slowly, his hands trembling as he ran them through his hair, trying to make sense of the confusion swirling in his mind. Zo's actions stirred up feelings he had buried deep inside, feelings he wasn't ready to confront. It was too much, too sudden, too overwhelming. He couldn't stay here.

His eyes darted to the door, the escape route that suddenly seemed like his only option. He could leave now, while his husband was still in the bathroom. The thought of staying, of lying back down next to him, made his skin crawl.

He slipped out of bed quickly and quietly, grabbing his phone from the nightstand as he padded silently across the room. As he slipped out into the hallway, cool air hit him, a stark contrast to the suffocating warmth of the bedroom, and he felt a surge of relief.

He just knew he needed to get away, to put distance between himself and the emotions he wasn't ready to face. As he quietly made his way down the hallway, the only sound was the faint echo of his own footsteps, the heavy silence of the house pressing in on him.

For now, escape was the only option, the only way to keep himself from drowning in the sea of feelings that kiss had stirred up. And so, he walked, away from the bedroom, away from his husband, and toward the uncertainty of the night, where at least, for a little while, he could breathe.