A MAN TO HONOR

chapter thirty nine

Kailah

I sit in my living room, my thoughts wandering

I cried so much that I no longer have tears left inside me

I keep thinking that I should've stayed away from him since the beginning

But at the same time, I have no regrets cause even if it was short, it was the most beautiful story I shared with someone

Taehyung is such a pure soul, and I think he deserves the best in this world

Even if the best isn't me

It's kinda unfair that we didn't have the chance to talk before we part

But I think...

I don't know, I don't know what I'm thinking

It's drizzling outside and I feel even more depressive

My phone vibrates and I receive a few photos from my cousin

Lot of pictures they took of me with Taehyung secretly like real paparazzi, I didn't even know these photos existed

The way we look genuinely happy together, us laughing, dancing, hugging

Photos of him with the kids, my parents, my brothers, on horses etc...

But my favorites are still the ones we took in the pool, totally drenched, after a nice party and him singing Marco Antonio in my ears

I thought I was in love with Chauncey

But Taehyung actually showed me what's being in love meant

It's so innocent, so pure, unconditional and effortless

There's nothing evil about it, there's no pain and insecurities, there's no bitter feelings in the background

It's just love...

I wonder if I'll ever live something like that again with someone

And I wonder...if he'll live this too with future wife

I mean... it's quite easy since they've been friends since childhood and they probably shared so much time together

They know each other very well and you can see how they make the perfect pair

I think it's gonna be fine on his side

He'll be just fine without me

I throw my phone on the table with a heavy sigh

There's no reason for me to feel sorry for myself

I was just a stopover in his life, not his destination

A knock at my door caught my attention

I frown as I stand up to open the door

" Bella ?? Who is dead ? " I ask, surprised

For Bellatia to come here while it's literally raining, there must be emergency

She looks at me from head to toe

" You look...well "

" Leave me alone, I'm dealing with a broken heart, dressing up cute is the last thing I have in mind right now " I retaliate

My plaid pyjama shorts with an oversized gray graphic t-shirt don't look very pleasing to the eyes honestly

But the worst part is my messy hair, my pale face and my dark circles

" Okay you have a broken heart but you don't have to look like a zombie in the process " says Bella as she takes a seat on the sofa

" You're heartless, that's why you won't understand "