A MAN TO HONOR

chapter twenty nine

Taehyung

I close the office door behind me,
exhausted...
I've been faking a smile all night long to please my grandfather and the rest of my family members

I never knew acting was that exasperating and exhausting

I try to put some order in the room before anyone else gets in

I take off Kailah's panties from the camera and slide it in my pocket before I leave for my own bedroom

All night long I've been thinking about what am I going to do

I didn't plan to fall in love with her

I'm stuck between two opponents of that love ; my family, and herself

I walk towards the balcony and let the silence of the night envelopes me

I need to do something...

but what to do? on one hand, I would like to fight for this love, stay with her, help her overcome her fears and worries, but at the same time, I wonder if it's worth it...she doesn't want this love, she doesn't want me, she will never let me into her heart, I feel like my efforts will be useless, so, is it really worth it to turn my family against me? to put my future in danger? to lose my status? for someone who doesn't even want me?

all my life I have been trained to become who I am today, to be the pillar of this family empire, to be the shield, the representative and the head of my family, as the grandson of the great founder of the Benz company, and the eldest son even of my parents, it has always been my heritage, my lifestyle, the whole definition of my existence... even if it is not the life that I chose at the beginning, my role in this family is important to me, and I have never asked myself what else I will be if I was not what I am today

even though the role of my grandfather's replacement has always been destined for me since my birth, I had to work hard, be consistent, prove myself and show that I was worthy of leading his empire, having the trust and respect of my grandfather was not easy, but I succeeded...and now, I question myself, in this situation, there is no in between, either I choose to take my life back in hand and do what they want, or I choose Kailah...there is no way that these two go together, I need to think, I need to make a decision... losing everything I had to fight to deserve and my family or fighting to deserve the love of the woman who refuses to love me back

It doesn't take a genius to see which choice is more to my advantage... yet my heart bleeds at the thought of not being able to be with her, of letting her go, she whom I love so much, she who drives me crazy with love... I refuse to let her go, but it seems to me that she doesn't want to stay

I can fight the world for her...but I can't fight her

She is the first one being opposite of this love that makes my heart so heavy

I would give up on everything for her...if she had only showed me a bit of consideration

I have no hope anymore

I'm the only one feeling what I feel, so it's a lost game for me

I can't risk losing everything I have just to get also rejected by her

my fingers grip the balcony railing with rage, my head tilts forward, and for the first time in my life, I cry with despair, frustration, fury... I may have succeeded in achieving feats with work, I may have succeeded in climbing to the top, but I have lost the most important thing, I have lost in repairing the heart of the one I love... and like a coward, I must let her go and choose security

This is unfair...

Life is unfair

Making me fall in love with the only woman that wouldn't love me back is unfair