The Black Snow Circus

"Who are you to stand alive?"

I walk through the deep woods. My eyes were heavy, I had seen myself in puddles. I always hated it when I had to do this. No one at the circus understood why I did either. Well, unless they wanted to hear the loudest screams ever, they'd have to understand. Whenever I did a mass murder, I was haunted by that same kind of dream every time, and well, my screams from inside the dream could be heard in the real world as well. Well, I didn't care. I didn't need to. I wandered around the forest. The little giggles of the girl inside my dream echoed around in my empty mind. "Shut up shut up shut up!" I thought to myself, not knowing why I felt this way. I wasn't supposed to feel emotions, why do I feel like my blood is boiling? Or why do my cheeks feel so wet when it hasn't been raining? And why...do I keep remembering him? That purple eyed boy... I shake my head, and put a grin on my face. Only a day away from seeing everyone again! I wondered how I should play with them...oh yeah, I had to get Carlene's answer! She'd know the right answer now, right? Oh well. Crunch, crunch the leaves go under my foot. I look up, seeing the red and yellow leaves on the trees, and thought to myself, "why do people make such a fuss over trees every year? They say it's "change," but not really." I shrug my shoulders. Then, I hear a twig snap behind me. I instinctively throw a knife, and whip around. No one's there...but the knife isn't there either. I shut my eyes, and listen. Then, there's a whispering in my ears, and it's not Valia taunting me. "Hello there." The voice is deep. I turn around, and see the same man that had been in the forest and the city. His pale brown eyes stare at mine, but I see an odd thing, almost...purple in them? No, that's dumb, I thought. I grin, though it's not real, of course "My oh my, I didn't even notice someone tailing me, you're talented." Though I didn't see his face, I had a feeling he was smirking as he responded with "Why, that's quite the compliment coming from you, Circe the Blood-Stained cat, youngest of the Mafia." He said. I didn't flinch. Many knew that name. Then again, I don't know why they added the youngest part when 4 of the top five were teenagers. Like seriously, Eric was only a few years older, and Jack only a few minutes older! I looked at him with my pale, diamond-like eyes. "So why did you follow me?" I asked, knowing it was not to kill me, as he'd seen that it would not go well for him. Then, shockingly, he pulled down his mask, revealing most of his face. It would surprise most, but hey, I stopped being surprised 14 years ago! He had the face of a 15-year-old boy, only one year older than me. Then, he took off what was covering his head, and showed light, fluffy blond hair. My hard skipped a beat, as he slowly took off contacts, revealing deep, purple eyes. My eyes widen, and I let some words slip out
"How." I narrow my eyes. I don't feel emotions, I don't, I stopped feeling them the day I saw the bloodied body of the boy in front of me. "Fin?..." I say, and curse myself in my head. I see a wide, malicious grin appear on his face. "It's been a long, long time, my old friend." I don't hesitate. I throw another knife, and he dodges it with ease. "You're supposed to be dead...you're not supposed to be here! You're dead! Dead!" I yell. I don't know what's happening. Why am I shouting these words? I abandoned those kinds of words long, long ago.
"Oh, but I'm not dead, am I? I'm breathing, standing in front of you." Those words hit me like a tidal wave. Then, I realize one thing. He's right, he isn't dead, like I thought he was when I saw the knife from long ago get stabbed deep into his gut. I remember the blood....I remember vomiting after that as well. I remember running, and Jacks pale face standing in the alley...I shake my head, I can't remember this now. I look at Fin, the one in front of me, and the smile vanishes from my face. I see myself in a puddle. My eyes are cold like the rain that was falling. My hair is a mess, and there's blood on my hands. Oh, right, I remember last night there were men dressed in black dead beside me. I then looked back up at him. Fine, is he wouldn't be dead now, he sure would be. I moved my hand to my pocket, reaching for knives, but Fin spoke up, and slowly, his voice actually got more higher. It was probably a voice changer. "Hey, Circe. You remember all those years ago, when we all pretended we were in a mafia?" He didn't get any farther into the sentence, after a knife wizzed by his cheek, drawing blood. He didn't flinch, and said something else "Well, this didn't go so well for me last time, but now that you know who I really am, why don't you come and join the group I'm in now? We could bring Jack and Eric to, since he seems to have been my replacement after you thought I was dead. We could be together, like old times, you know!" He said. What nonsense was he blabbering on about? I wouldn't go with him, I didn't want to..right? I couldn't leave anyways, I'd be dead by morning! Because the leader of the mafia would have a jar of my ashes, beside all the other jars of the ones who had betrayed the mafia. "A-Are you insane? I would never, even though you are someone the old me knew. But that old me doesn't exist anymore. She's dead. I'm Circe the Knife thrower of the Black-Snow Circus, also know as Circe, Assassin of The Clear Water Mafia, or The Blood Stained Cat. Call me anything you want, but not something as disgusting as your friend." I then smile again. There's not a single hint of remorse on my face, nor a single reaction on Fin's face either. He just smiled and said "I'll find you again once you change your mind, "Circe." Then, he backed away into the gathering fog, and like I had, vanished into it. Well, I was in for a rough night again. Then, out of my control, I muttered to myself
"Who are you to stand alive?"