From cameras to your heart

Chapter 41

Aditya stood at the threshold of the door as he watched inaya staring out of the window. His eyes glued to her back, unable to look away. He felt his heart bursting with pain as he saw the pale expression etched on her face.

Since the horrified day at the hospital he was unable to remove the sight of her covered in blood from his mind. His mind refusing to accept the harsh reality that welcomed him. The reasons didn't mean anything for what they had lost so he didn't give any, feeling the weight of distress filling his heart.

His gaze remained on her, seeing her silence and the distance she's put between them hurt him more than he thought possible. His mind aware of the turmoil between them and no matter what he might say, it won't make up for what they had lost. His heart felt heavy as he stared at her with a mixture of remorse and longing, wishing he could do things differently. If only he could go back in time to redo things, wanting nothing more than to make things right and have her look at him with love again.

No matter what she said a week ago, he knew better. It was his fault that the baby didn't make it. His behaviour caused her to fully stress out causing her into miss-carrying their baby. He knew she didn't want him to blame himself for it, but he saw it in her eyes, the hurt, the accusations, he saw everything.  Seeing her angry and silent, his heart stings. He wanted to fix things, to make it right, make her smile at any cost. The silence between them felt heavy, it had felt that way since the past months and it weighs on his conscience.

As he watched her silently staring out the window, his eyes soften as he took in her profile, the way her hair draped over her shoulder, and the slight frown on her face. He wanted to reach out and touch her, to hold her and ease the distance between them, but he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

"I want to start fresh...with us"

Her words, these words. He could hear them over and over again, never getting tired of them no matter what. Despite the commotion in his mind and the constant ache in his heart, her words provided him with hope, just like a drop of water to a thirsty man stuck in a desert.

He couldn't tear his eyes away as she turned around and their gazes met. Her silk black dress hugged her waist beautifully, her long, black hair dangling around her shoulders as she moved. His eyes flicked with a hint of admiration as he took in her form.

He took a deep breath as he beheld the sight of her, feeling his heart bursting with love for the woman he would give away his life for. He felt a mixture of emotions as he saw the distance and coldness in her eyes . His heart twitched with something he could not decipher, He wanted to speak up, say something, but the words seemed to be stuck in his throat. 

Her eyes wondered around, nervously trying to twist her fingers. He knew he was not forgiven, not that he expected it or thought that he deserved it, he wanted her to smile, not for him but for her.

He could care less about his fucked up mind.

He never wanted to see her like this, sad and lonely. His gut twitched as he thought about the days she had to have dinner alone, sleep alone, wake up alone, work alone, come back to an empty house and they cry herself to sleep because of exhaustion.

He looked into her eyes and saw the hesitation in them, knowing she still did not want to be around him fir too long. He took a step back ignoring the tug in his heart and saw her shoulders relaxing.

"Hey baby..."

His voice was soft, pressing gently against her heart as he saw her looking away.

"How way your shoot? You look gorgeous today."

He saw her fisting her dress tightly, the soft silk crumbling as her hold refused to soften. She had been busy since the entire week with photoshoots and brand deals. He for a moment though that she did it to stay away from him, not that it hurt, because it fucking did. He sat in the living room watching her work throughout the photoshoot, all day, forgetting about the papers in his hands, or his phone bursting with n number of emails. His eyes solely focused on her as he looked at her fearing that she would vanish the minute he looked away.