A Court of Flame and Shadow (Azriel x eris)

Chapter 5: Azriel

Why did it feel like the life was being choked out of him?

"Were you with a male?"

It should have felt like a weight lifted of his chest, but it felt like a knife being twisted in a wound. Rhys was ashamed. Embarrassed. 

"I'm sorry, Rhysand." Azriel croaked, throat dry.

Rhys grabbed his arms, spinning him around to face him.

"Why the hell are you sorry? You like males- so? Mor likes females, she's still me third! This doesn't change anything."

Wrong. He was so wrong, and so happy that Azriel was talking to him! Telling Rhys the truth would be like kicking a puppy!

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Rhys." He turned back to the window, massaging the pain in his chest.

"That's not it, is it?" 

A shaky breath.

"Of course it is. That's it."

Rhys walked back to face him, a serious look on his face. 

"Azriel, I have known you forever. I know you are lying. I always know! I can't tell if you are embarrassed, or, nervous, what is it?"

"You're scaring me."

Suffocating- he was suffocating! Was this what dying felt like? Like the life was being sucked out of him, like he was being consumed by the shadows he knew so well. It felt like he was being arrested for a crime he didn't commit, but had no proof that he was innocent. Like he had woken in the night to find a pillow held over his face. He had been a spy for 500 years, and he had never felt panic like this.

"He's- ah, my..." In, out, in, out. "My mate."

"Well that's great! When can we meet him?"

Oh. God. Azriel sank down against the window to the floor.

"You don't seem happy. I thought you wanted a mate! Do you not like him?" Rhysand was so oblivious. His mate came to him on a platter. Compared to this, it had been simple. Yes, maybe he had created political dispute, but if Beron found out Eris was his mate, he would have them both killed. Then who would be heir to Autumn? One of his awful brothers? No. That would destroy Autumn, all of Prythian. And it would be his fault.

"No, I love him, I do, that's- that's not it!" He hardly raised his voice at his High Lord, his brother. "You don't understand, Rhys, its not that simple! He would kill us- Oh, oh my god! He is going to kill him, then me! Oh my god!" Ripping at his hair, sobbing like he never had, he screamed at the High Lord of the Night Court. 

Rhysand sank into an armchair, horrified look on his face. Azriel stared at him blankly as realization dawned. "Eris. Its Eris, isn't it?" Not a question. 

"I love him, Rhys, he's so good to me. Please, Rhys, don't make me leave him!"

"E-ris..." Rhysand slowly sounded out the name "Erisss..." He hissed. Dismay filled Azriels face.

"No, please, Rhys." Azriel never begged. But as he shifted to his knees, he begged his High Lord. Begged him not to break his heart, to not take away the one he loved like he couldn't explain.

thank you lovelies! hope you loved that! Xx