A Court of Flame and Shadow (Azriel x eris)

Chapter 34: Azriel

Varian winnowed him onto a golden balcony. He, being heir to Summer, was the only one able to get around the wards surrounding Thesan's accommodation. Of course, Azriel also could, but they had all decided that he was in no shape to shadow walk.

Varian silently guided him through the empty halls of the dreamy palace, the pinks and purples such a change from the oranges of Autumn. Eventually, the halls became busier, and Varian stopped him in front of a set of doors. 

"I think I should warn you, before you go in. It's not exactly a pretty sight, now that there is less blood on him. I know you, with your job, would be pretty used to that but..." The prince swallowed. "It's someone you love, someone who means something to you."

Azriel nodded, throat bobbing. "Who's in there?"

Varian sighed. "I suspect it will still be pretty full of healers, but other than that... Lucien and his mother, Feyre and Rhysand, and... that's it."

"Will the others come?" Or would they abandon him for his "betrayal"?

"They will come when you are ready." Varian whispered.

Azriel nodded again, turning to the door, but didn't open it. The thought of seeing Eris, dying on a bed, stopped him. 

"You don't have to go in yet."

Azriel turned back to the prince. "What would you do, if it was Amren?"

"I think- I think I would want to sit beside her until she woke up. And I would want to be there when she did... for her, it's different, she forgets if she's alive, she forgets if she is still here. I shouldn't tell you this, but, some nights she wakes up screaming, or crying, because she thinks she left, that she never followed Rhys back. I would want to be there so she knows she is okay."

~

The room was dark, bar for the ball of faelight hovering over the bed that carried Azriels worst fever nightmare. Watching the mutilated body on the bed was Lucien, hugging his mother tightly, who was sobbing violently. By the door, Rhysand and Feyre stood silently. Feyre squeezed his shoulder comfortingly as he passed. Rhysand said nothing, but when Azriel met his eyes, they were mournful, apologetic.

Too late. It was too late, was all Azriel could think. How different would things been if Rhysand had been as kind as Feyre? Would Eris still have been lying of the ground, moments away from death, if Rhysand had helped? 

The apology could come later, when his mate was awake, alive, breathing on his own. Azriel neared the bed, and Thesan glanced up, just for a moment, before looking back down at what he was doing. Sewing Eris back up. Careful, tiny stiches, slowly pulling him back together. Eris's chest moved slowly, but that it was moving at all was a miracle. 

Bile rose up Azriels throat at the sight of the blotchy skin that was once to flawless. Blood covered the white sheet that had been placed down on the bed, gory to the point of nausea. Colour drained from his face at he watched the needle go in, out, in, out, then tied up.

Azriel stayed quiet as Lady Autumn reached out a hand, slipping into his. He glanced over at her, to find her watching him carefully. A comforting expression  graced her face, so selfless in a time of grief.

~

Thesan had finished soon after Azriel had gone in. He had then asked his captain and lover to show Lucien and his mother, and Feyre and Rhys to their rooms, leaving Azriel alone with him, to stare vacantly.

"Azriel." Thesan said quietly, pulling him back to reality. "You okay?"

Azriel nodded. "I'm fine." 

Thesan nodded, obviously seeing through the lie like it was glass. "Do you want to stay in here tonight?" 

Azriel nodded gratefully. 

Thesan smiled. "I'll get someone to bring in some blankets, but first, I would like to talk you you."

~ 

Out on the balcony, the moon sent a glowing light down onto them. For such an awful few hours, the peaceful quiet of the night was refreshing.

"Eris may not wake up." Thesan got straight to the point.

Azriel snapped his head to the side, sending pain down his spine. "What!" He cried.

"I can't wake Eris up. He can only wake of his own accord, and it could take weeks, or years, or he might not wake up at all."

A ringing began in Azriels ears slowly getting louder at he processed the information.

"I'm sorry."

"And you... you can't do anything?" A tear slipped down his cheek

"I have acolytes leaving for Day in the morning, to look in the libraries, but, chances are, I can't."

"Oh." Azriels voice broke in his throat, coming out raspy and scratchy.

"But you can stay here, as long as you need."

"Thank you." He rubbed at his neck, throat dryer than the desert. 

Thesan gave him a comforting smile before walking away. A few servants walked into the room with blankets and pillows, and began to arrange them on the couch, but Azriel knew he wouldn't be sleeping. How could he, knowing that they had been so close?