A Court of Flame and Shadow (Azriel x eris)

Chapter 33: Azriel

The pain ripping through Azriel as he stared at his mate was undeniably the most painful thing he had experienced. Not getting his hands burnt, not getting his wings shredded, not getting a bolt to the chest.

This.

His throat was cut raw from the screaming that he couldn't make himself stop, the screaming of his mates name over and over again. No one had come near him. No one spoke. He had no idea just how long he had been kneeling there, ripping at his hair, clawing at his chest, letting himself bleed. 

How could he make sense of anything when the only person he could ever love was lying there, dead? How could he breath, how could he go on?

A figure finally neared. Feyre. She walked over so tentatively, so carefully, and knelt down beside him so gently. 

She reached out a hand to Eris, supposedly to check his pulse.

"No! Don't touch him, no!" He wailed, snatching Feyres hand away. She eased it out of his hands and continued to reach for Eris, ignoring Azriels screaming. After a moment, she drew her hand away from his neck. 

"Azriel." She said quietly, placing a hand on his knee. "Az."

But Azriel couldn't hear her over his own tortured screaming.

"Azriel!" She shouted, slapping him over the face. Azriel looked up in shock, finally snapping out of his wailing to stare at her.

"He's alive, Azriel." Feyre stated calmly.

"What?" Azriels voice was broken and grating.

"Eris is alive, Azriel, but he wont be for much longer if we don't get him some help, so you have to stop screaming!" She shouted.

"He's alive?" Azriel croaked.

Feyre nodded. "You need some water, Az. Go with Cassian." She turned to the shellshocked Illyrian. "You, Cassian, can you and Mor take him to get water and food?" 

Cassian took a deep breath before walking over slowly, eyes wider than Azriel had ever seen. Still, when he reached him, and pulled him to stand, he put a comforting arm around is shoulders.

"C'mon mate." Cassian's usually steady voice shook, but he still smiled, grabbing Mor's arm on the way past. The crowd parted for them, allowing them to make their way to the now empty ballroom. Cassian shouted at them as they past, telling them to go home, to get out of the castle. Surprisingly, they all listened, and the hall cleared quickly.

~

Mor refused to make eye contact with Azriel as he drank his seventh cup of water. Cassian was giving her an angry look, silently commanding her to get over it, and at least pretend to not be furious. She just pursed her lips and scowled.

"Oh, don't be so stupid Morrigan, I know he did nothing to you." Azriel snapped, them most he had spoken in an hour.

Mor turned her head to him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do, Mor. Neither you nor Eris wanted to marry each other, so you came up with a plan, and you've been lying about it since then. You, and your refusal to tell us the truth is the reason I couldn't tell any of you about Eris."

Mor stood up, face turning bright red. "Fine, maybe I lied, but you had no right to be with him when you thought it was the truth!"

Azriel cocked his head.

"Only one other person should know that it was all a lie, and that would be the male Eris was with, who is probably dead by now!" She shouted. "What did you do, kidnap the poor male and torture the information out of him so you could have pretty Eris?" 

Azriel leapt to his feet. "I was that male, you dumbass! It was me! He didn't marry you for me! He loves me!" He had never dreamed of screaming at Mor. She was the one person who he would never fight with. She was his sister.

A lone tear ran down Mor's face. "What?" She croaked. "He loves you?" She whispered.

Azriel fell back into his seat. "What, you think I'd be this miserable thinking he died if I was just doing him?" He laughed. "We have loved each other for well over five hundred years."

Mor scrunched her eyebrows together. "You love him?"

Azriel nodded. "He's my mate, Mor." He whispered. 

~

Mor had walked out of the ballroom shortly after their fight. Since then, Azriel and Cassian had sat in silence, both waiting for the other to break it. After almost three hours of shaky breaths and more glasses of water than he could count, the enormous doors opened and Amren and Varian walked in.

"Hello, boy.' Amren greeted him, but with no sign of that normal cockiness on her face. She sat down beside him. "I'm sorry, Azriel."

The genuineness on her face was enough to make Azriel cry again.

"So, Mor explained her little charade, did she?" He asked quietly. 

Amren nodded. "She told us about you and Eris. I'm really happy for you." The way she spoke was so uncharacteristically kind.

After a moment of silence, Varian answered his unasked question. 

"The healers couldn't treat Eris, so Feyre and Rhysand took him to Thesan."

Azriel nodded. "And can Thesan treat him?"

"He says he will try." Varian's voice broke. "They asked me to bring you over to Dawn."