A Court of Flame and Shadow (Azriel x eris)

Chapter 31: Azriel

Drawing attention was not Azriels intention when he left for peace, so he left quietly without telling anyone, for a well deserved break. Watching his mate dance with his friend for hours on end was certainly not a relaxing activity, and being watched like a hawk by the bride meant he couldn't even near the alcohol. 

So after  many hours of loud music and even louder people, he had finally escaped to a storage room down the hall. He was so far past caring that even the dead rats piled in the corner didn't bother him as he sat on an upturned bucket. In the corner of the room, he had found a dusty bottle of whiskey which he had eagerly begun to drunk, making excuses to himself such as it was "for his headache" when he knew full well that drinking had never done any good for him. Still, he thought, he deserved it.

Eris wouldn't marry Meredith, he would refuse to, and be denounced as heir, and as much as Azriel hated the thought, it was comforting. Still, to watch them spinning around the dancefloor on Berons command had pulled at a deep, primitive part of him that hadn't been reached in a while.

His friends hadn't made any good distractions, all of them dancing and drinking, except for Nesta, who still insisted on taking part in every dance with Cassian. Which left him with no one to talk to, no one to stand with, or laugh with. Not that Azriel wasn't used to loneliness, in fact it was quite the familiar face. 

Azriel practically leapt out of his skin when the door to the dark room swung open, but the only person to greet him was Eris, who kicked the door shut, launching them back into darkness as quickly as it had left. 

Eris walked forward silently, reaching out a hand to pull Azriel up.

"You okay? You left quite abruptly." He whispered, pulling his mate into a tight embrace. 

"I didn't think anyone would notice." Azriel sighed, ignoring the tears clawing their way up the back of his throat.

"That's awful, Az, of course I would notice. But you didn't answer my question."

"I'm alright." The lie was immediately revealed by the sob that he choked on.

"Oh, Azriel..." Eris whispered, pulling back to inspect his face. "You've been drinking, haven't you?"

Azriel nodded, turning away to wipe his tears.

"I thought you stopped drinking."

"I did." He mumbled, flopping back down on his bucket. 

"You are so silly, Azriel." Eris sighed, sitting beside him on an apple crate. "Why would you drink?"

"I don't know." He moaned. "I don't know." Azriel rested his head on his mates shoulder, who promptly wrapped an arm around him. 

"Is there anything you need to talk about?"

Azriel looked up at him. "I miss you."

"I'm right here, my love."

"No- no. I miss you. And I'm so sick of it. It has been too long, and too painful, and I can't do this anymore, I can't. Please, please don't make me wait any longer." Azriel was begging, actually begging. 

"You know it's out of my hands, my love." Eris's voice broke like a carousel. "I can't do anything, I'm sorry." 

"But I love you, Azriel, please don't forget that when you go wherever it is that you go when you hide in the shadows. Don't forget it when I do the next terrible thing. Don't forget it when I am no longer heir, don't forget it when I am hung for loving you, and never blame yourself, never, because you are good, Azriel, so good, and you deserve so much more."  Tears flowed down Eris's face as much as they did Azriels.

"What are you going to do, Eris?" Azriels grating voice echoed throughout the small room.

Eris averted his eyes as he spoke. "I am not marrying Meredith, Azriel."

It was exactly what Azriel had expected him to say, but still, it sent shock through him like he had been shot. 

"You have too." Azriel murmured. 

Eris shook his head, looking into his mates eyes. "No."

The door was flung open before they had the chance to jump away from each other. A tall silhouette filled the whole door, one that Azriel would know anywhere.

Beron had found them.