Evermore :||: Nick & Charlie

Chapter 12: You Can't Be My Medicine

Nick's POV
One Week Later

It's been a week since Charlie told me about his appointment. At first, he started to seem like his normal self again, but three days after telling me about the appointment, I could tell that it was getting bad again.

One day, at school, Charlie and I were sitting with Tao and Isaac and Tao said something that made Charlie fly off the handle. All he asked was if Charlie was finished with his food, a well meaning question, but nonetheless, it made Charlie angry.

"Why won't anyone just leave me the fuck alone about this!? God!" He got up and stormed off after that.

It's been four days since I last saw him.

I try texting him, asking if he's coming to school, but the whole time, he's just been leaving me on delivered. Now I know exactly how Tao is feeling and I hate it. I hate not knowing if he's okay, but more importantly, I hate just not having him around.

I've thought about going over to his house, but I'm scared that if I do, I'll just make things worse for him. That's the last thing I want to do.

I haven't been sleeping because of how stressed out I've been about all of this. It also doesn't help that I've had two more panic attacks just in the last two days.

It's a rainy Sunday night and all I'm doing is lying in bed, staring at my phone. I keep opening mine and Charlie's messages, wanting him to respond, but again, it's just on delivered. He hasn't even opened them.

Tears well in my eyes as I start going over every horrible thing that he could've done to himself.

Tori would call if anything happened.

Charlie's okay.

Calm down...

My breathing starts to get heavier and heavier with every single breath I take. I sit up and clutch my chest, knowing exactly what's happening at this point. I try to remember Darcy's method to calm myself down, but for the first time, it doesn't work.

Why the hell isn't it working?

My chest is tighter than it's ever been before and my breathing is completely out of control. I stand up and start pacing around my room, running my hands through my hair, doing anything I can to stop this from happening.

I wish my mom was here.

She'd know what to do.

But sadly, she's away on a work trip, so my aunt is staying at our house to look after me. Not that I really need it, but at this moment, maybe I do.

I start coughing as I feel like I'm running out of oxygen. It's never been this bad before. I hear a quiet knock on my door, shocking myself that I can even hear anything over my own breathing.

"Nick?" The door opens and through blurred vision, I see my aunt standing there. "Nick! Honey!" She quickly rushes over to me and places a hand on my shoulder. "What's happened?" She asks me. I shake my head, unable to speak.

She cups my face with her hands, making me look her in the eyes. "Darling, you need to breathe." Does she not think I've been trying to do that?

"C-can't." I struggle to say, but manage to anyway.

"Here, come on. Sit down." She removes her hands from my face and takes my hand before walking us over to the bed. She sits down and I sit down next to her. She pulls my head down onto her lap as she holds me, tears streaming down my face, my breathing rapid.

I don't think she knows what to do either.

We wait it out for about ten minutes and very slowly, my breathing starts to slow. Even though it's only been a short time, it's felt like an eternity for me as I lay there, clutching my aunt's arm, probably leaving bruises.