Evermore :||: Nick & Charlie

Chapter 19: Am I Already on the Way Out?

Nick's POV

I watch as Charlie walks away from the group. I'm glad that he was having fun, but I hate that his mom is making him go home, but I guess I get it.

"What's going on with him?" Tao asks, making me look at the group. All of them look concerned.

"He's just fighting with his mom."

"Nick, we know it's something more than that. He hasn't been to school since Tuesday and he never answers texts anymore. I'm surprised he even came today." Isaac points out.

"It's not my place to tell you guys what's going on with him." I try my best to not give anything away, but I know they can all see the worry in my face.

"Well, should we ask Charlie about it?" Tao asks. 

"No." I quickly say, knowing that isn't a good idea.

"And why not?"

"Because he can't even talk to me about it anymore." My voice shakes, finally revealing at least a little bit about what's going on.

"It's that bad?" Imogen asks. I feel tears start to come to my eyes. I blink them back, trying not to worry the other, but I think it's far too late for that.

Imogen holds out her arms for a hug and I do just that. I'm really glad that things didn't go terribly wrong between me and her after I rejected her romantically because she, outside of Charlie, is probably my best friend right now.

"Okay, okay, no more sadness and sappiness today. We came here to hang out and have fun." Darcy says.

"Yeah, you're right." I say, letting go of Imogen and wiping my eyes. Elle starts looking through her bag, eventually pulling out a deck of cards.

"We could play cards or something?" Elle suggests. We all agree and as Elle is passing out the cards, my phone starts ringing. I pull it out of my pocket and see that it's Charlie.

"Guys, I have to take this. I'll be right back." I stand up and walk away from the group. When I accept the call, I hear Charlie sniffle on the other end. "Char, is everything alright?" I ask him. Hearing him sniffle again sends me into a panic.

"N-Nick, can you-could you please come over?" His voice is trembling and soft. Clearly, he's crying.

"Did something happen? Are you okay?" My voice is instantly filled with worry and fear.

"I just- I really need you right now."

"I'll be there as fast as I can. I love you."

"I love you too. Please hurry."

"I will." I quickly hang up the phone and rush back over to the group. "Tara?" I ask, making her look over at me.

"What happened?" She asks, noticing there's something wrong.

"I need you to take my stuff back to my house. I really need to go. I don't have time to explain, but would you-"

"Of course." I nod before running through the park and to Charlie's house. I swear, I run as fast as humanly possible, getting there in just a few short minutes. I knock on the front door, panting and sweaty from running. Jane is standing there, confused.

"Nick? What are you-"

"I'm sorry, but Charlie called and he sounded really upset. Can I see him?" I ask, trying to catch my breath.

"I'm sure he's just being dramatic. We had a little disagreement and-"

"Jane, please." I plead. She thinks for a second before opening the door more and letting me inside. Without even thinking, I go upstairs and head to Charlie's room. His door is shut and I can hear him moving around inside his room, like he's pacing or something. I quietly knock on the door and it swings open revealing Charlie standing there, tears running down his face.

He doesn't hesitate and pulls me into a tight hug, crying into my chest, not caring that we're standing in his doorway. "Shh, it's okay." I say, stroking his hair softly. "I'm here, Char. I'm right here." I tell him as tears start to form in my own eyes. I glance around his room and see multiple pens scattered across the floor, but I can't see much else due to us standing in the doorway.

Charlie lifts his head and looks at me. I cup his cheeks with my hands and wipe his tears away. He lets go of me and steps into his room. I go to follow him, but he stops me.

"Can you please take your shoes off?" He asks, confusing me.

"Yeah. Okay." I say. I kick both of my shoes off, placing them next to his door in his room as I walk in. I turn around and shut the door, but as I turn around, I see that his desk is now a mess, not like it was when I came over earlier. "What happened?" I ask, turning back to Charlie who's now sitting on his bed.

"I just- she was yelling at me and I came up here and- I got mad and threw everything to the floor." I sit down next to him, resting my hand on his thigh in a comforting way. "My thoughts were racing and I kept thinking something bad was gonna happen not just to me, but to you and Tori and my dad. I freaked out and that's when I called you. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have called. You were probably having fun without me there and-"

"Hey," I say, squeezing his thigh, making him look at me, "I'm glad you called." His mouth curls into a small smile. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" I ask him. More tears start coming to his eyes, that small smile instantly fading from his face.

"Can you just hold me?" His voice breaks.

"Of course I can do that." I lay down on his bed and hold my arms out. Charlie lays in my arms, his face buried in my chest as he clings tightly onto me, as if he's scared of losing me. I can feel him shaking, something he only does when he's in severe distress. I've seen him upset before, but something about this feels different, like he's not only upset, but he's scared.

I run my fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down, but I'm not sure if it's working. All I want is for him to be okay, for him to be happy, but with that appointment not being until January, I'm really not sure how much more fight he has in him.

Charlie's POV

I hate that I called Nick. I hate that I worried him, but when those thoughts were running through my head, I just needed to know that he was safe, that I could keep him safe. Nothing else mattered in that moment, I just had to know that he was okay.

I lay there, unable to fall asleep like I normally would in his arms. I'm just so scared of hurting him by not doing the things my brain tells me to do. I know it doesn't make any sense, but to me, it does. I sit up, making Nick sit up too.

"You don't have to stay." I say, moving so I'm now sitting on the edge of the bed. Nick places his hand on the middle of my back.

"I want to make sure you're okay. I can stay as long as you need me to."

"Really, Nick, I'm fine now, so you can go."

"If that's what you want, then I'll leave." I nod my head feeling tears come to my eyes. I stand up and walk over to my drum kit, sitting down on the stool. "Please just leave." I say softly. Without a word, I hear Nick stand up from my bed. I don't dare to turn around as if he sees me crying, I know he'll stay. Not long after, I hear my door open and then close. As soon as I know Nick is out of the room and down the stairs, I start crying harder.

You know what you have to do to make the pain stop.