Evermore :||: Nick & Charlie

Chapter 28: The Holidays Linger like Bad Perfume

Charlie's POV
Christmas

Ever since coming home, I've been doing mostly okay. I started my therapy sessions with Geoff, which was extremely scary at first, but he's really nice and actually seems to care about my problems, which I know isn't always the case for most therapists.

I've been spending a lot of time with Nick when he's not at school. I also made the decision not to go back to school until after the holidays. Tao's been bringing me my work and it's nice to see him again, but outside of him and Nick, I haven't seen anyone.

It's not that people don't want to see me, it's more of the fact that I don't want to see them.

Okay, that sounded awful.

What I meant was, I just still have a lot going on and seeing a bunch of people right now and getting all these questions asked would just be too much for me right now.

Planning for Christmas has been really stressful. Mom and I have basically been fighting nonstop all week long about the smallest things, so I've been spending a lot of time in my room or over at Nick's. I feel bad that I've been causing everyone stress, but I'm stressed out too.

Family members I don't see often normally come down for the holidays and we all get together on christmas to celebrate, only this year, it's much, much different. Last year, I knew I had some issues with eating, but I was always good at hiding it.

This year though...

There's no hiding that I spent seven weeks in an eating disorder clinic as my parents explained to the rest of our family. I didn't really want them to, but I knew that getting through Christmas would be difficult had they not have known.

When I wake up, it's far earlier than I intended to be, but I guess that's what I get for spending all night worrying and thinking about this big dinner we're having tonight. I've never been a big fan of family dinners, but it's even harder when recovering from an eating disorder.

It still feels strange to say that.

It's strange to say I have an eating disorder, but it's even stranger to say that I'm recovering.

That's something I never thought I'd be saying.

I roll over and grab my phone to text Nick. I know he's most likely still asleep, but I just like texting him when I first wake up.

Charlie: happy christmas!! xxx love you loads!

I set my phone back down on my nightstand and sit up, knowing I'll be unable to go back to sleep, even if I tried. As I sit there, I see my door slightly open and Tori poking her head in.

"You're awake?" She asks, coming into my room. She shuts the door behind her.

"Yeah. I just couldn't really sleep to be honest." She comes over and sits down on the edge of my bed. "Why are you up this early?"

"Same reason as you." She looks over at me and gives me a small, sympathetic smile. Ever since I've been home, my family has been treading on eggshells around me, almost like they're scared of saying something that might push me over the edge again. Tori's been mostly okay with treating me the same, but sometimes, like right now, she just doesn't know what to say to me.

I don't think I would either.

"What?" I ask her in response to her smile.

"You gonna be okay today?" I look down at my hands and start fidgeting with my fingers. As much as I wanted to be home for the holidays, now that I am, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything.