Evermore :||: Nick & Charlie

Chapter 25: I'm Anxious to My Core but I'm Doing Fine

Nick's POV

I wake up the next morning with a raging headache. Actually, everything hurts, not just my head. Slowly, I sit up, my room awfully dark for whatever reason. I look over and see Tao asleep on the floor.

I genuinely cannot remember a damn thing that happened last night.

Elle soon comes into the room holding a mug in her hand.

"Morning sleepy head." I wince in pain at the sound of her voice. "Sorry." She whispers as she sets the mug down on my bedside table.

"What the hell happened last night?" I ask her. She sits down on my bed.

"Well, you got drunk, cried, threw up, and then Tao and I took you home. We thought you'd want some company when you woke up, so we decided to stay." I pick up the mug and see that it's tea. I take a small sip.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"A little after ten. I closed the curtains and put a blanket over it so it wouldn't be so bright in here. I knew you'd probably be hungover, so I just wanted to help in any way I could."

"You really didn't have to stay." I say as I lean over and set the cup of tea down on the nightstand.

"You can't even remember what happened last night. I think it was best that we stayed."

"What time is it?" I look down and see Tao slowly starting to get up. When he fully sits up, he looks at me. "Wow, I'm shocked you're still alive."

"Tao!" Elle says pretty loudly, making me wince in pain again.

"You saw how drunk he was last night. I'm just saying-"

"Can you guys please be a little quieter? My head is killing me." I tell them. Tao stands up and sits next to Elle on the bed.

"Why'd you get so drunk last night anyway?" Tao asks as I reach for the tea again.

"I just didn't wanna think or to feel anything last night. I know it's not the healthiest thing in the world to do, but I just needed some time to not think." I take another sip of the tea, but keep the mug in my hand, running my thumb up and down it, trying to soothe myself in some way, though I'm not really sure if it's working.

"Were you thinking about Charlie?" Elle asks.

"I'm always thinking about him. I wonder if he's happy or sad, if he's getting treated okay in there, if he's making friends, if he's getting better. You name it, and I'm probably thinking about it relating to Charlie in some way."

"Nick, we know that you're worried about Charlie, but we're all worried about you too. You haven't really been yourself since-"

"It's hard to be myself when the person I love is two hours away in a mental hospital. He was the one to make me open my eyes and to help me realize who I am as a person. He helped me with my coming out journey, and now I can't even help him with this. I can't be the one to fix him and that kills me." My voice gets a little loud at the end, but I can't help the way I feel. I feel bad for not letting Elle finish her sentence, but I needed to get that off my chest.

"You have to trust that he's gonna get better. Yeah, it's gonna be hard for a while and I'm sure some days won't be easy, but you two are so strong and you both love each other more than I think I've ever seen two people love each other." Tao tells me.

"We know you're worried for him, but you need to be looking after yourself too. You can't help him if you're not together yourself." Elle's words hit me hard. I guess I never really thought about that.