Evermore :||: Nick & Charlie

Chapter 17: Some Things You Just Can't Speak About

Nick's POV

After practice, Charlie quickly gets changed. I always wonder how he does it so fast, but I just think that he doesn't want anyone to see his body.

I get changed too and the two of us head out of the locker room. I look over at him. He doesn't look as sweaty, but he's still extremely pale, like all the color has been drained from his face.

"Wanna come over? My aunt has to work late tonight, so I thought we could watch a movie or something."

"Yeah, sure. I'd love to!" He's been doing that all day. He acts like everything is fine and he's happy, but I can see it in his eyes. He's not okay.

I just want him to talk to me.

I know I can't do much, but I can be there to comfort him or hold his hand through it. I don't just want to be there for him, I want to be with him through it.

We walk to my house and as soon as we get there, Nellie jumps on Charlie, almost knocking him over.

"Woah, Nell." I say, grabbing her, trying to calm her down, but she's too excited to see Charlie. That's fair, it has been almost a week since he last came over, but knowing that Charlie almost passed out today, I know he's still probably feeling pretty weak.

"It's okay." Charlie says, bending down to pet her. "Hello Nellie!" He ruffles her fur, talking in an adorable baby voice to her. When he's done petting her, he stands up, but I can tell that this makes him feel dizzy.

"Are you okay?" I go over to him, my hands going to both of his elbows to help balance him.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Just got up too fast is all." I take my hands off him as he takes off his backpack, placing it on the floor. I watch as he takes his shoes off, unable to move.

I hate that he's lying to me and that he won't talk to me either. "Nick?" I blink, looking at Charlie, his face full of concern. "What just happened?" He asks.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I say, trying to play off the fact that I was watching his every move. I take my bag off, setting it next to his, kicking my shoes off as well.

"You just kinda, I don't know, spaced out." Before I can even stop to think about what to say, the words fly out of my mouth.

"What did you have for breakfast this morning?" He looks at me, confused. I swallow hard, waiting for his answer.

"Nick, what are you trying to get at?" His tone sounds angry, but his face remains calm.

"What did you have for breakfast?" I ask again.

"I told you that I had waffles this morning. I don't understand why-"

"Pancakes." I interrupt.

"What?"

"You said you had pancakes this morning, not waffles."

"Pancakes, waffles, what difference does it make?"

"The difference is you lied. We said we'd tell each other things." I take a step toward him, reaching my hand out to grab his.

"Well, you haven't exactly been honest with me either." He pulls his hand away and walks to the couch. I follow him as he sits down. I sit next to him. "You hid you were having panic attacks from me until I walked in on you having one. Were you even gonna tell me about them?"

"I was, I just needed to find the right time. Having you walk in on me having one wasn't exactly the way I wanted it to happen, but I'm glad I told you." I take his hands in mine. "Charlie, I want you to talk to me about anything. I don't care how dark or scary it is because I wanna be a safe place where you can land. I want you to call me if you're having a bad day, or hell, come over if you need to. I love you and I don't wanna lose you, so please, talk to me." His eyes start welling with tears.