Evermore :||: Nick & Charlie

Chapter 33: Can't Shake this Feeling

Nick's POV

Ever since Charlie's relapse back in January, he's been doing a lot better, which I'm extremely grateful for. I blame myself a lot for what happened even though Charlie told me not to. It's hard to do that when I'm the one who left him in the first place all because I was angry.

I made a promise to myself and him that something like that would never happen again.

I guess these last three months have shown me that I'm not doing the greatest myself. I've been so focused on helping Charlie, I've been putting my own mental health on the back burner.

In reality, I'm extremely stressed out. Not only about Charlie, but about, well, everything. I've started the process of looking at what unis I want to go to and, while most of my choices are local, there's a few that are really far away.

I watch as Charlie dances around with all of our friends. He's been so happy lately so the thought of telling him I'm not doing well makes me feel like the worst person ever.

Later on, Charlie is with Tao and Isaac mixing drinks in the kitchen while I'm in the living room with Tara, Darcy, Imogen, Sahar, and Elle.

"Have you guys been getting hounded about uni stuff lately? Like I check the post and I have like five hundred things from a bunch of schools." Tara asks.

"Right! Like ever since I started looking at art unis, it's been horrendous." Elle takes a small sip of her drink. "What's everyone planning on studying?"

God, can this conversation please not be happening right now?

"Definitely taking a gap year. 13 years of school is enough for me right now." Darcy leans back, seeming at ease with their answer.

"I've still got a few ideas, but I'm leaning toward something in politics or maybe journalism." Imogen tells us.

"Whatever you choose, you're gonna be great." Sahar tells her, giving her hand a slight squeeze. "I definitely wanna do something with music. Not too sure what."

"Well I'm considering maybe a dance school, but who knows if i'd even get in. Plus, the job prospects aren't that great and-"

"Tara, you'd be amazing. don't sell yourself short." I tell her. She takes a deep breath.

"What about you? Thought of anywhere or anything you might be considering?" I feel my breath get caught in my throat.

"O-oh. I guess I haven't put much thought to it."

"That's okay! We've still got ages to decide." Imogen says, but I can already feel what's coming.

"I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." I quickly stand up and make my way out of the living room and up the stairs. Instead of heading to the bathroom, I walk into Charlie's room, feeling as if this is the only place in the world right now that can calm me down.

When I walk in, I shut the door and sit down on his bed, running my already sweaty hands on my knees, trying to ground myself. My breathing starts becoming more erratic and I feel my body start shaking.

A panic attack on my boyfriend's birthday, what an amazing gift.

Charlie's POV

To say I'm drunk would be a bit of an understatement. I didn't really intend on getting hammered on my birthday, but in a way, I feel like I've earned it.

After about ten minutes of messing around with Tao and Isaac and coming up with the most disgusting drink combinations, I look at the living room and see the girls sitting there. I could've sworn that Nick was just there.