Mixed Up | Yeonbin

24. crossroards

Soobin wasn't sure how this night had ended up like this. Yeonjun was trashed—fully out of it, stumbling over his words and barely able to walk straight.

Yuna? She'd already been dragged off by her friends, too far gone herself. It left Soobin, standing there with a half-conscious Yeonjun slumped against him, no one else in sight.

"Guess I'm dragging your ass back," Soobin muttered to himself, not really sure why he was doing this but knowing he couldn't leave Yeonjun like this. Even if everything between them was messy.

The walk back to their dorm was slow and awkward. Yeonjun kept mumbling things under his breath, incoherent phrases that Soobin couldn't piece together.

"Why do you drink so much— you can't even handle alcohol well," Soobin munbled. He was tipsy enough himself that focusing was a struggle, but not drunk enough to miss how weirdly vulnerable Yeonjun sounded.

When they finally got inside, Soobin didn't waste any time. He plopped Yeonjun onto his bed, sighing heavily as he sat beside him, rubbing his temples as if that would make his headache go.

Yeonjun mumbled again, something softer this time. Soobin glanced over and blinked, realizing that Yeonjun's shoulders were shaking.

He's... crying?

"Yeonjun?" Soobin asked cautiously, leaning closer. "Hey, what's wrong?"

No response. Just quiet sobs, each one more broken than the last. Soobin panicked for a second, heart hammering in his chest. He was tipsy, but not enough to ignore how much this was bothering him. Seeing Yeonjun like this was... weird. It was too raw, too open.

"Yeonjun, seriously," Soobin said, voice lower now. "What's going on?"

Then, between sobs, the words started coming out.

"I don't... I don't know why it hurts so much."

Soobin frowned. "What hurts?"

Yeonjun's eyes flicked to his, glassy, swimming with confusion. "Seeing you... with him."

It hit Soobin like a punch. The kiss. Hyunjin. That whole night at the club. Soobin's stomach twisted, and his breath hitched in his throat.

"It shouldn't—It shouldn't hurt, right?" Yeonjun's voice cracked. "You kissed him. So why do I care?"

Soobin swallowed hard, unsure how to even respond. He wasn't ready for this conversation—hell, he didn't even know what to say. It was like all those messy feelings they'd both been avoiding for so long were crashing down around them.

"I—" Soobin started, but Yeonjun interrupted him, rambling on in that drunk, emotional way that only made things more complicated.

"I shouldn't care, but I do," Yeonjun confessed, tears falling freely now. "Why does it hurt so much, Soobin? Why?"

Soobin felt his heart twist. There was no point in denying it anymore. They'd been dancing around this for so long, pretending like they didn't feel anything, like it was just some weird tension between friends. But this wasn't just tension. This was something else.

Before Soobin could even process what he was about to do, he reached out, brushing away Yeonjun's tears with shaky fingers.

"I don't know either," Soobin whispered. His voice was quiet, almost fragile. "But... maybe it's because... we—"

Yeonjun cut him off again, this time in a way Soobin hadn't expected. His lips were on Soobin's, desperate, sloppy, and filled with too many emotions to untangle. Soobin froze, his mind spinning in every direction at once.

What the hell was happening?

But then, slowly, almost unconsciously, Soobin kissed him back.

Yeonjun's lips are as soft as he imagined them to be, maybe softer. It's sweet, a bit bitter from the booze he was drinking. But the kiss itself?

It wasn't soft. It wasn't careful. It was messy, fueled by too many unsaid words, too many confusing feelings. Soobin's head was pounding, but he couldn't stop himself. This was wrong, right? This shouldn't be happening, but—

Yeonjun pulled away first, breathless and trembling, his eyes wide with fear and realization.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking even more broken than before. "I... I don't know what I'm doing."

Soobin just stared at him, heart in his throat, every part of him screaming that this was a mistake. But was it?

"I don't know either," Soobin finally said, voice barely above a whisper.

The silence that followed was deafening.

_______________

a.n.

Well that was something 👀 even I don't know how to feel about that 😬 too messy—