Mixed Up | Yeonbin

39. freezing

Yeonjun couldn't sleep.

He tossed and turned, his brain playing Soobin's words on an endless loop.

"Then tell me what you really want."

It had been a challenge, a push, and Yeonjun had frozen. The worst part? He knew exactly what he wanted.

And he had still let Soobin walk away.

Yeonjun let out a frustrated groan, pushing his hands against his face. He felt like an idiot. A stupid, scared idiot who had spent months pretending that what they had—whatever the hell it was—wasn't real. But it was. Of course it was.

He sat up abruptly, heart pounding, and before he could think too hard about it, he grabbed his hoodie and slipped out of the dorm.

The air outside was cool, crisp enough to wake him up completely. Yeonjun's hands were shoved into his pockets as he made his way toward the courtyard, his nerves climbing with every step.

And there he was.

Soobin sat on the same damn bench as always, one leg bouncing slightly as he scrolled through his phone. A cigarette burned between his fingers, smoke curling into the air.

Yeonjun hesitated for half a second before walking up.

Soobin barely looked at him. "What, came to tell me more bullshit?"

Yeonjun swallowed. "No."

That, at least, got Soobin to glance up. His expression was guarded, lips pressed in a tight line.

Yeonjun took a breath. His hands clenched inside his hoodie. "I—fuck, I don't know how to say this."

Soobin gave him a dry chuckle, looking back ahead. "Then don't. Just go back to avoiding me, you're real good at that."

"I like you," Yeonjun blurted.

Soobin's fingers twitched. His leg stopped bouncing.

Yeonjun could feel his face heating up, but it was too late to back out now. "I like you," he said again, a little quieter. "Like, really fucking like you."

Soobin didn't say anything, but Yeonjun saw the way his jaw tightened.

"And I get it if you don't believe me," Yeonjun went on, voice rough. "I've been weird and hot-and-cold, and I've been a fucking coward. I've been so scared of what this means—what we mean—but I don't... I don't want to keep running away from it."

Still, Soobin stayed quiet. He was just staring at his cigarette now, like it had all the answers.

The silence stretched, and Yeonjun felt a pit form in his stomach. "Can you say something?" he mumbled.

Soobin finally sighed, flicking the cigarette to the ground and pressing it out with his shoe. Then he looked at Yeonjun, and there was something unreadable in his expression. "Do you even know how much I—" He stopped himself, shaking his head. "Forget it."

Yeonjun felt desperate now. "No, tell me."

Soobin huffed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I like you too, dumbass."

Yeonjun's stomach flipped.

Soobin let out a breath, running his fingers through his hair. "Do you know how fucking frustrating it is? Watching you act like this wasn't a thing when it's so obvious? Watching you get jealous and then act like I'm the one confusing you?"

Yeonjun bit the inside of his cheek. "I know," he admitted. "I know I was being stupid."

Soobin scoffed. "Yeah, no shit."

There was a pause, the weight of everything settling between them. Yeonjun felt like he was standing at the edge of something terrifying—but also something he wanted.

"Can I—" He hesitated, eyes flicking to Soobin's lips.

Soobin exhaled through his nose, shaking his head slightly. Then, before Yeonjun could even fully process it, Soobin grabbed the front of his hoodie and tugged him forward.

The kiss was soft, tentative, as if this was their first kiss, like testing the waters after so many missteps. Yeonjun barely had time to react before Soobin pulled back.

He was still close, their noses nearly brushing. His voice was quiet when he spoke. "No more running away, okay?"

Yeonjun swallowed. "Okay."

Soobin held his gaze for a second longer before nodding, finally stepping back. "Good. Now take me inside, it's fucking freezing."

Yeonjun let out a breathy laugh, the tension breaking just enough. He didn't say anything, just reached out and grabbed Soobin's wrist, leading him back toward the dorms.

This time, he wasn't going to let go.