Mixed Up | Yeonbin

25. another one

The morning after was suffocating.

Soobin woke up with a pounding headache and a sharp, gut-wrenching weight in his chest. He didn't need to look over to know that Yeonjun was still passed out in his bed. Last night came back in blurry flashes—the crying, the confession, the kiss. His stomach churned, and he quickly stood up, trying not to think too hard about it.

He couldn't. He shouldn't.

Yeonjun was with Yuna. And even if that kiss had felt right in a way Soobin couldn't fully grasp, it didn't matter. Yeonjun wasn't his. None of this was his to have.

But then, days later, it happened again.

They hadn't talked about it—hadn't even brought it up. Soobin avoided it like a plague, hoping the incident would disappear into the haze of that drunken night. Yeonjun, as far as Soobin could tell, was acting like everything was normal.

At least, that was until he found himself alone with Yeonjun again.

It was late. Everyone had already headed back from the group study session, but Soobin had stayed behind to clean up the mess they'd left in the dorm's common room. He was stacking some papers, already tired from the weight of his own thoughts, when Yeonjun appeared.

"You need help?"

Soobin froze. There was something in Yeonjun's voice—a low hum of tension. He swallowed hard, shaking his head. "No. I'm good."

But Yeonjun didn't leave. He just stood there, watching Soobin with an intensity that made his skin prickle. And then, suddenly, Yeonjun closed the gap between them.

"Soobin, we need to talk."

"No," Soobin said, quickly turning away to grab some books. "We really don't."

"Yes, we do," Yeonjun insisted, his voice softer now but filled with urgency. "About what happened—about us."

"There's no 'us,'" Soobin snapped, harsher than he meant to. His heart was racing, panic building in his chest. "You're with Yuna, remember?"

Yeonjun winced, but he didn't back down. "I know that."

"Then why are you—"

"I don't know!" Yeonjun cut him off, his voice rising. He stepped closer, until Soobin could feel his breath on his neck. "I don't know why I did it, or why I can't stop thinking about it. But it happened, and we need to figure this out."

"There's nothing to figure out," Soobin mumbled, still refusing to meet Yeonjun's gaze. He felt himself shrinking under the weight of the conversation, every part of him screaming to escape. "It was a mistake."

Yeonjun was quiet for a moment. Then, almost too softly, he said, "Was it?"

Soobin's throat tightened. He couldn't answer. His mind was swimming with everything he didn't want to admit—that he hadn't stopped thinking about it either. That he didn't hate the way Yeonjun had kissed him. That a part of him wanted it to happen again.

But none of that mattered. Yeonjun was with Yuna, and this was wrong.

"We can't do this," Soobin whispered, more to himself than to Yeonjun.

But Yeonjun wasn't letting it go. Before Soobin could stop him, Yeonjun closed the distance between them, pressing him against the wall. His eyes were dark.

"I can't stop thinking about you, Soobin," Yeonjun murmured, his voice shaky. "I know it's wrong, but I can't..."

Soobin's heart skipped a beat. He felt Yeonjun's hand reach for his wrist, pulling him in closer, and for a brief second, he let himself forget about everything else.

The kiss was sudden—rougher this time, like Yeonjun couldn't hold back any longer. And despite every rational thought in Soobin's mind telling him to push away, he didn't. His hands found their way to Yeonjun's shoulders, gripping the fabric of his shirt as if he was afraid to let go.

It was a mess of emotions. Guilt. Desire. Confusion. Everything tangled up in a whirlwind of what they couldn't have, but took anyway.

When they finally broke apart, Soobin gasped for air, his heart slamming against his chest.

"We have to stop," Soobin whispered, barely able to get the words out. "Yeonjun, this isn't... we can't keep doing this."

Yeonjun's hand was still on his wrist, and his grip tightened. "I know. I know it's wrong. But I don't... I don't know how to stop."

Soobin's head was spinning. The weight of Yeonjun's words made his chest ache, but the reality of the situation hit him like a freight train.

They couldn't keep doing this. Not when Yuna was in the picture. Not when everything about this felt like a disaster waiting to happen.

"You need to figure things out with Yuna," Soobin finally said, his voice hoarse. "This... whatever this is... it can't happen."

Yeonjun was silent, his expression filled with turmoil. He nodded slowly, but his eyes told a different story. The desperation was still there, lingering just beneath the surface.

"I'll... I'll try," Yeonjun muttered, stepping back reluctantly.

Why are you doing this to me, Yeonjun? And why the hell I'm liking it?!

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a.n.

Maannn, those urges are just something else huh 😬😬😬😬 sorry to make them assholes 😌