Mixed Up | Yeonbin

26. two and two

It happened, again.

They didn't mean for it to, but in their shared dorm room, with no one around and all the unsaid things between them weighing heavy, it was like instinct.

Yeonjun kissed him first like the other two times, pulling Soobin in like the need was too strong to resist. And just like every other time, Soobin didn't push him away.

Yeonjun had Yuna, and yet here he was, tangled up with Soobin on his bed, chasing something he couldn't quite admit. And Soobin... he knew better. He should've stopped it—should've told Yeonjun to go back to his girlfriend and fix things before they spiraled any further out of control.

But he didn't.

The rationalization started to creep in, subtle but undeniable.

As Soobin kissed Yeonjun back, hands sliding across his waist, the thought of how Yuna had cheated circled in his mind. A small, dark part of him thought that maybe this was justified.

Maybe what they were doing wasn't that wrong after all. Yuna was the first one one to play dirty, wasn't she?

But the more Soobin thought about it, the more it twisted in his gut. He wasn't Yuna. He wasn't going to use Yeonjun like this—he wasn't going to drag him into something even more messed up than it already was.

Soobin pulled back, lips still swollen from the kiss, heart racing. He looked at Yeonjun, who was already looking at him, eyes hazy with the leftover buzz of their moment. But Soobin's mind was running at a hundred miles an hour now.

"We can't keep doing this, p-please—" Soobin mumbled, sitting up and creating space between them. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to make sense of everything. "This... this isn't right."

Yeonjun blinked at him, clearly confused and still a little breathless. "What do you mean? We're not hurting anyone."

But Soobin knew better. He knew the weight of secrets like this, and how they had a way of eating you alive from the inside. He'd seen it—Yuna was cheating on Yeonjun, but if he went down the same path, he'd be no better than her.

"I mean... Yuna..." Soobin started, but his throat caught. He didn't know if he should bring it up now, or at all.

"What about Yuna?" Yeonjun asked, sitting up fully now, eyes narrowing as if he could sense something was up.

Soobin hesitated. He didn't want to be the one to tell Yeonjun—not like this. But the guilt was clawing at him, mixing with his own shame for what they'd been doing.

"I just... I don't want to be like her." He finally said, cryptic but honest enough for Yeonjun to understand that something deeper was at play.

There was a long, tense silence. Yeonjun was still processing Soobin's words, but Soobin had already pulled away, emotionally checked out of the moment. He wasn't going to stoop to Yuna's level—he couldn't let himself become that person. But at the same time, he couldn't deny the pull he felt toward Yeonjun, either.

Yeonjun's brows furrowed, frustration starting to bubble up. "What are you talking about, Soobin?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you're with Yuna," Soobin snapped, finally voicing the thing they'd been avoiding. "This is wrong, and we both know it."

Yeonjun blinked, his confusion giving way to frustration. "Then why do you keep coming back?" His voice had a sharp edge now. "If you think it's so wrong, why don't you stop?"

Soobin opened his mouth to respond but found himself at a loss.

Why couldn't he stop? Why did he keep letting Yeonjun pull him back in? The rational part of him knew that they were in too deep, but the emotional part—the part that wanted Yeonjun in ways he couldn't explain—couldn't just walk away.

"I don't know," Soobin muttered, voice low, barely above a whisper. "I really don't know."

Because I like you, idiot, put two and two together you slow mothe— hhhh...

_______________

a.n.

Don't cheat kids, it ain't cool.