Mixed Up | Yeonbin

29. untying

Yeonjun stumbled out of the crowded club, the heavy bass still pounding in his ears, but it was all a blur now. His heart was hammering, his head spinning as he shoved past people, barely able to breathe.

The cold night air hit him like a slap in the face, but it didn't do much to calm the storm raging inside him.

He barely made it to the alley behind the club before he doubled over, clutching his stomach, and threw up. His body heaved, purging the alcohol, the betrayal, the sheer fuckery of everything that had just happened.

Soobin was right behind him, his heart twisting at the sight of Yeonjun in such a vulnerable state. He stayed a few steps back, not wanting to crowd him, but his eyes never left Yeonjun.

"Fuck..." Yeonjun wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his voice hoarse.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He slammed his fist against the brick wall, letting out a frustrated growl, his whole body trembling with anger and disbelief.

Soobin's throat tightened, but he took a tentative step forward. "Yeonjun..."

Yeonjun didn't respond. He just stood there, shoulders hunched, his breath coming in short, ragged bursts. His world was crumbling, and Soobin didn't know how to fix it.

Soobin felt his heart twist painfully at the sight. He wanted to pull him close, to tell him it was all going to be okay, but he knew it wouldn't be. Not right now.

For a moment, there was nothing but the sound of Yeonjun's shaky breathing and the muffled beat of the music from the club. Then, finally, Yeonjun straightened up, his hands still trembling as he ran them through his hair.

"You knew, didn't you?" Yeonjun's voice was rough, barely above a whisper. He didn't look at Soobin, his gaze fixed on the pavement. "All this time... you knew she was cheating."

Soobin's stomach dropped.

He had been dreading this moment, the inevitable confrontation, but hearing Yeonjun's voice—so broken, so vulnerable—made it a hundred times worse.

"Yeah..." Soobin admitted quietly, his heart sinking as the word left his lips.

Yeonjun squeezed his eyes shut, his face crumpling as if the weight of that confirmation was too much to bear. His hand went up to cover his mouth, and for a second, Soobin thought he might break down completely.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Yeonjun's voice cracked, and this time, when he looked at Soobin, his eyes were filled with tears. He wasn't yelling, wasn't angry—just hurt. Deeply, painfully hurt.

Soobin swallowed hard, the lump in his throat making it hard to breathe. "I tried," he whispered, his voice shaking slightly. "That day... at campus, after her class. I tried to tell you, but you didn't... you wouldn't listen."

Yeonjun frowned, his brow furrowing in confusion. "What... what are you talking about?"

Soobin let out a shaky sigh, his heart racing as the memory came flooding back.

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself before continuing. "That day when Yuna said I... when she accused me of harassing her." His voice dropped lower, the pain of that moment still fresh. "I had just seen her with that guy. I was trying to tell you, but... but you believed her."

Yeonjun's eyes widened slightly as the pieces of that day clicked into place. Of course he remembered that, the way Soobin had tried to talk to him, the way Yuna had spun the whole thing around so easily. And he had... he had believed her without a second thought.

"I didn't..." Yeonjun choked, his voice barely audible. "I didn't know." His shoulders slumped, tears spilling over as he finally let out a sob. He brought his hands up to his face, wiping at his tears like they burned.

Soobin felt a pang in his chest, watching Yeonjun fall apart like this. Every instinct in him screamed to pull him into his arms, to take away the pain somehow, but he stayed frozen in place, his heart breaking for him.

"I'm sorry," Soobin whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I didn't... I didn't know how to tell you after that. But there's just so much going on with us, her, and— and... fuck, I should've told you. I'm so sorry."

Yeonjun shook his head, his hands still covering his face. "You should've," he mumbled through his tears, his voice muffled but still heavy with hurt. "You should've told me."

Soobin's chest tightened as he watched Yeonjun cry, the weight of his own guilt pressing down on him like a vise.

He wanted to explain, to tell Yeonjun that he had tried, that he didn't want him to hurt any more than he already was.

But none of that mattered now. All that mattered was that Yeonjun was here, breaking down in front of him, and there was nothing Soobin could do to make it right.

"I didn't want to lose you," Soobin confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't want to make things worse. You... you were already hurting, and I didn't want to be the one to..."

His words trailed off, but the truth hung in the air between them. Soobin had been too scared to tell Yeonjun the truth. Too scared of what it would do to their friendship. And now, it felt like he was losing him anyway.

Yeonjun wiped his face with the back of his hand, his breaths coming in shaky gasps as he tried to pull himself together. "You didn't... lose me," he muttered, his voice still thick with emotion. "I just... fuck, Soobin, I feel so fucking stupid."

"You're not stupid." Soobin's voice was firm, but gentle. He stepped closer, his hands itching to reach out, to comfort him somehow. "You're not stupid, Yeonjun. She fucking played all of us."

Yeonjun let out a bitter laugh, wiping at his tears again. "I should've seen it. I should've known."

Soobin shook his head. "It's not your fault."

The words felt hollow, even to him. But they were the only thing he could offer right now.

There was a long silence, the air between them thick with unspoken words, with things neither of them knew how to say.

Finally, Yeonjun let out a shaky breath, his body slumping against the wall. He looked so tired. So worn down.

"Why didn't you tell me... sooner?" Yeonjun asked again, his voice small, almost like a plea. "If you knew... why didn't you just say something?"

Soobin hesitated, his chest tight as he tried to find the right words. "I didn't... I didn't want to make things worse," he admitted softly. "I thought... maybe if I just stayed quiet, maybe she'd stop, or... maybe you'd figure it out yourself. But I just... I couldn't. I couldn't stand the thought of you hating me."

Yeonjun blinked, the tears still clinging to his lashes as he looked at Soobin. His heart was torn in so many directions, but in that moment, something softened. He didn't have the energy to be angry anymore.

"I don't hate you," Yeonjun whispered, his voice shaky but sincere. "I could never hate you, Soobin."

Soobin swallowed hard, the words hitting him like a lifeline. He nodded, his own tears threatening to spill over, but he blinked them back, focusing on Yeonjun instead. "I'm sorry, Jun. I'm so fucking sorry."

Yeonjun let out a shaky breath, leaning his head back against the wall, his eyes closing for a moment. "I don't know what to do," he muttered, his voice so quiet it was almost lost in the night air.

Soobin didn't have an answer. But he did know one thing—he wasn't going to leave Yeonjun alone. Not now. Not ever.

Without thinking, he stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and gently pulled Yeonjun into his arms. He felt Yeonjun tense for a second, but then he relaxed, his body sagging against Soobin's as if he couldn't hold himself up anymore.

And for the first time in a long while, Yeonjun let himself cry his heart out.

_________

a.n.

Well that was intense 🤡 I guess one obstacle is out of the way.