People often said that, in love, it was okay to separate, for one another to be in different places, but being parted by life and death was not.
I was just afraid that you were no longer in this world, not that you no longer loved me.
Ten years ago, Nhan Tinh was the bright moon, the most significant part of Tan Duat's life. Ten years later, Quach Phuong had become an obsession, the haunting spectre that would follow Tan Duat for eternity.
The first year after Quach Phuong passed away, Tan Duat's routine did not change much. He would go to work as usual, and finish his shift as usual.
Outsiders would think Quach Phuong's death did not affect Tan Duat. But only he knew the depths of his longing, and regrets that tormented him each night, making life worse than death.
Tan Duat started learning how to cook. He learned how Quach Phuong would pick items from the back of the shelf at the supermarket, and always bought items on sale. But he didn't know how many things he needed to buy for a meal, so he grabbed whatever caught his eye, and filled the cart. When it was time to pay, the amount was so large that the cashier was left in shock.
If Quach Phuong were still here, she would surely scold him for being wasteful.
But what should I do now? Without you, I don't know anything, I really don't know anything.
Tan Duat was like a blind man walking through the desert, searching for an oasis but getting lost in a sandstorm, seemingly never able to find his way out.
He carried the large and small bags of groceries home, trying to remember how Quach Phuong used to organize everything, and followed suit. He placed the items in the fridge, and then in the kitchen cabinets, but no matter how he arranged them, everything still ended up in disarray.
Tan Duat angrily lifted his foot and kicked a bag, causing it to tip over, and spill its contents all over the place.
Letting out a sigh, Tan Duat searched for a box of pre-prepared fish, and began to wash it. He placed a pan on the stove, poured in some oil, and turned on the heat. When the oil was hot, he immediately added the fish he had just washed into the pan.
However, because the fish was still wet, the oil splattered everywhere. Tan Duat was startled. He tried to turn off the stove, but had accidentally knocked the handle over, causing both the pan and the fish to fall onto his feet, the oil spilling freely.
Tan Duat held his forehead, he couldn't understand how Quach Phuong had managed to cook three different meals every day without repeating a single dish.
"Tan Duat, you should learn how to cook too."
"Quach Phuong, I can't do it. I'm about to starve to death, when will you come back?" Tan Duat covered his eyes with his hands, his voice hoarse.
That night, the kitchen was turned into a battlefield by him. Tan Duat decided to eat instant noodles. He brought the bowl of noodles to the living room, and ate while watching TV.
On the screen was a familiar scene from high school. Tan Duat had found this tape a few days ago.
Today was the 20th time he had watched it again. All because it had Quach Phuong in it.
The camera took turns filming all the classmates in the class, and the image of Quach Phuong appeared. She was sitting by the window, sunlight poured over her, illuminating her like an angel stepping out of a fairy tale. Even after seeing this image 20 times, his heart still pounded wildly like a horse without its reins. Tan Duat's eyelids trembled, tears falling into the hot bowl of noodles.
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