Draconic Sphere Ω

Chapter 24: The More Technical You Get, The Less Hungry I Am

The next day Lacrie and Kaergat went to tell the Lords Wontague and Quapulot about what they had discovered.

Brunhild and Dandelion chose instead to stay in their room and take drugs.

(Dandelion had enthusiastically explained her Quadruple Whammy Surprise to Brunhild, a carefully timed cocktail suitable for beginners – or so she had said. Kaergat had shaken his head in disbelief but had left them to it).

Wontague seemed to deal with the shocking news by becoming even more arrogant and insufferable. The reward, it seemed, was only intended for someone who could bring him back his child alive. Kaergat didn't think it wise to press the issue.

Quapulot, for his part, took the information with a grave dignity. Of his own accord, he offered the party a hundred gold pieces as a reward. Kaergat tried to turn Quaplot down, but he insisted, and the look in his eyes was so sincere that Kaergat relented.

After all this, Kaergat and Lacrie decided to eat out at a nice restaurant, taking time to wind wind down from the whole misadventure. It was afternoon when they came back to their room in Feenschwanz.

"Oh Lacrie, thank goodness," gasped Brunhild as they came in. She was sprawled across the carpet. "I need a sobering spell."

"But this is the best part!" complained Dandelion, sitting on the writing desk for some reason.

"You said that right before I got eaten over and over by thousands of insects!" yelled Brunhild.

Dandelion giggled and swished her legs in the air. "Insect teeth feel funny."

Lacrie quickly administered her sobering spell. Brunhild breathed a sigh of relief. "That was horrible. Next time just one drug at a time. At most."

"BoRinG!" yelled Dandelion before giggling again.

Kaergat and Lacrie accompanied Brunhild down to get some food. Dandelion also somehow managed to follow them down, despite bumping into the walls a few times and bursting into uncontrollable laughter when she saw Andromalius.

(Andromalius simply continued his sweeping, unperturbed. "Human contracts are so fragile..." he rumbled, as if to himself. "So many loopholes...")

"What'd I miss, besties?" asked Dandelion as she came to her seat.

"Nothing, we've only been here for two minutes," said Brunhild.

"Only TWO minutes??" cried Dandelion, suddenly laughing so hard that tears began to spring from her eyes.

"Uh... yes," said Kaergat drily.

Chekhov appeared. "You all right, ya baby adventurers?" he asked with jollity, boisterously putting his arms around Kaergat and Brunhild's necks. Brunhild blushed. Kaergat politely removed Chekhov's arm. "We are fine, yes," said Kaergat.

"I'm doing greaaaat!" breathed Dandelion, still laughing.

"Chekhov," said Lacrie. "Do you know how to make a really foolproof protection for an artefact from being detected by an artefact tracker?"

"Why, whatcha usin'?" asked Chekhov.

Lacrie took her artefact box from her belt and showed it to Checkhov. Chekhov examined it, muttering. "Hmm, doesn't even have Gilderfrost's Semicircular Routine... Good glomping, though..."

Chekhov put the box down on the table and cast a spell. The box glowed green for a second.

"That should help a bit," said Chekhov. "Trouble is, the artefact's still here."

"What do you mean?" asked Lacrie, confused.

"Look here," said Chekhov, producing a box of his own, as if from thin air. He opened it.

The opening of the box appeared to be a portal into a vast cavern. Hundreds of metres below, lava boiled and bubbled. Heat and a stench of brimstone radiated out, noticeable even from across the table. Squinting, Lacrie realised that there was a net inside, presumably preventing items from falling down into the lava.

"'Course, this isn't the best for a really important artefact, 'cause you can still reach that spot on the other side if you know where to look. A proper box'll have a universe all of its own in it. Pocket dimensions, they're called."

"Do you know where we can... get one?"

"I'll sell you my old Luggage if you want. One hundred buttercups."

"A hundred gold pieces," said Kaergat pensively.

"We just earned that!" cried Brunhild.

"But, if it's the only way to stop being chased by monsters..." said Kaergat.

"I'll ask Cassandra if we can get it covered as an expense," said Lacrie. "Then we can keep the money for Brunhild's sword."

"'Course, there's a catch," said Chekhov, grinning.

"Let me guess," said Kaergat sourly. "It is in some old room you were using for experiments, and we have to defeat the monsters if we want it."

"Eh, yeah, pretty much."

Kaergat waited for more explanation.

Chekhov just kind of shrugged and grinned.

"Well, what are we waiting for??" growled Brunhild, hand on the sword at her hip.

Kaergat raised his eyebrow. Brunhild still looked rather sick. "We are not fighting monsters until you have at least eaten something, Brunhild."

"I'm fine!"

"You are not. Eat something."

Everyone looked to Wintergreen, who had been politely waiting for people to notice her. "Today's lunch was Medusa snake egg omelette," she said sweetly. "Andromalius can heat some up for you."

Dandelion started giggling at the mention of Andromalius' name.

"What's a Medusa snake?" asked Brunhild.

"Well, the snakes that are like the strands of hair of a Medusa," said Wintergreen.

"And they lay eggs?"

"Of course!" said Wintergreen.

Brunhild frowned as she tried to imagine this.

"Good enough," said Kaergat. "Brunhild can have my portion too."

"You're not my mother, Tiefenschürfer," growled Brunhild.

"If you are weak, the whole team is in danger," hissed Kaergat.

"I'll have mine and Lacrie's Medusa snake butt eggs," said Dandelion. Then she snorted. "Snake butt. Hair butt."

"Of course," said Wintergreen, bowing and going back to the bar.

"Technically hair cloaca," Chekhov pointed out.

"Technically technically, gorgon hair cloaca," added Dandelion, holding her finger up in the air.

"The more technical you get, the less hungry I am," muttered Brunhild.