Draconic Sphere Ω

Chapter 27: I Refuse To Deal With The Consequences Of My Actions

"Oh my gosh, Lacrie," said Dandelion in a soft voice, eyes still closed, some minutes later. "You're a lifesaver."

"Literally," pointed out Brunhild.

"Literally and metaphorically," said Dandelion, gingerly touching her face. It was completely healed.

"It's... it's nothing," stammered Lacrie, blushing.

"It isn't, Lacrie," said Dandelion, sitting up. "If you weren't around, I might actually have to start dealing with the consequences of my actions!"

When Dandelion was ready, Kaergat tested the chest. He opened it a notch and immediately slammed it back down again, repeating this a few times before cautiously peering inside. "No more sharks," he said, sighing in relief.

"Landsharks," said Dandelion.

"Huh?"

"That's what they're called," said Dandelion. "My sister told me about them. There were guard-landsharks at a mansion she was stealing from once."

"Really?" said Kaergat. "But they can fly – why not call them skysharks?"

"Landsharks can't fly," said Dandelion. "Now THAT would be scary! Landsharks just swim over land."

"What is the difference?"

"Oh, if you met a skyshark, you'd know the difference."

"Guys," said Brunhild. "This chest has a weird dial on the inside of the lid. Look."

"Do not touch that!" yelled Kaergat, but Brunhild had already turned the dial. "Wow," she said. "It switches between different pocket dimensions. Look. This one is way bigger on the inside – it's like a mobile office room. Desk, chair, bookshelf."

"That is very interesting, Brunhild, but we need to be careful –" said Kaergat.

Brunhild turned the dial again. "Huh," she said. "This one's empty." She flipped through all of the remaining positions on the dial, prompting new rooms to appear and disappear in a blur:

A pile of rusted swords and armor and other miscellaneous junk, the skeleton of... possibly a hippopotamus, bubbling lava, another empty chamber, sunlit grass, and the first chamber again; empty except for a bit of sand and water (seawater, by the smell).

"Wait," said Kaergat. "Can you go back one position?"

Brunhild obliged. There was grass, wildflowers, a little boulder. Kaergat looked around from different angles. He could see a little ring of mushrooms, and a bee visiting the flowers. There was the distant sound of a forest stream.

Kaergat pondered this. "Could it be that —"

Dandelion hopped in. She slid off the boulder and looked around, whistling appreciatively. "This looks like a spot for unicorn-watching," she said. "What would you call this? A glade? I think we found us a glade, guys."

"It is a portal?" asked Kaergat, amazed.

"No Kaergat, a glade. G-l-a-y-d. Now that thing," she said, pointing up to the windowlike space between them, "That's a portal. Hey, do you think this is some fancy heaven dimension? Elysium or some such?"

"I do not know, Dandelion," said Kaergat. "Does it look safe?"

"Far as I can tell," said Dandelion, stuffing mushrooms into her mouth casually.

"Please tell me you have the knowledge to safely identify those mushrooms," said Kaergat disapprovingly, climbing down.

"I could tell you that if you really wanted me to," said Dandelion. "Ugh, these taste like the poop they were growing out of."

"Dandelion!" hissed Kaergat. Brunhild joined them, hand on her sword.

"What?" said Dandelion. "We've got Lacrie so I don't need to make good life decisions, remember? So, are we going on a hike?"

*

In the end, it was more of a short scouting trip.

The surroundings were rather normal seeming, and pleasant, woodland. There were no signs of civilisation and no indications that it might be some unusual plane of existence. The sun was low in the sky, suggesting a similar time of day to the place they'd just left.

They returned to Feenschwanz's cellar. Brunhild flipped the "unembiggen" switch, let the chest shrink to a miniature size, and stowed it in Kaergat's backpack.

"Let's go," said Kaergat.

"I wonder what they have for dinner for us this time," said Dandelion. "We could bring them the LSD-infused mimic corpse, but I guess they're not that crazy. Ooh, do you think they'd cook a slice or two just for me? That giraffe neck looked like it had some meat on it. But I think it was actually made of the butt part of the mimic. You can tell because mimic butts have a kind of rough texture and they're not good at changing how their skin feels if that makes sense. I'd say it was tripping balls, but that kind of goes without saying, right Brunhild?"

Dandelion chattered away as the party walked past the majestic pink bulk of Valentina, then up the stairs and back into Feenschwanz's strange maze of cellars. As Kaergat and Brunhild seemed tired, she started to focus her storytelling skills on Lacrie, who listened with a polite attentiveness.

Perhaps because of that attentiveness, it was Kaergat who pointed it out: "Lacrie! Look! Your artifact tracker!"

Lacrie held up her wrist in shock. The tracker's arrow was actually visibly moving, indicating that the artifact was relatively close.

"Quick," said Kaergat. "Hide!"

Lacrie and Brunhild looked from side to side for a good hiding spot.

A door opened.

It was Wyk.

Lacrie put her arm guiltily behind her back.

"Hello, Wyk," said Kaergat.

Brunhild nodded to Wyk with a serious expression.

Dandelion slipped out from behind a barrel and grinned. "Wyk, my favourite saint-for-hire. How is martyrdom going?"

"I assure you, I am still alive," said Wyk, with an affectation of great dignity.

"Well, keep working at it, eh?" said Dandelion.

"Hi!" squeaked Lacrie.

Wyk simply raised his eyebrow and walked on, closing a door behind him.

"That is the direction of Hendrik's nest," said Kaergat quietly.

"We have to follow him!" growled Brunhild, making a fist.

"Yes!" cried Lacrie.

"Okay, okay, guys, guys, guys," said Dandelion. "How about we split the work. I can follow Wyk, and you can help by not."

"Not what?" asked Kaergat.

"Just not," said Dandelion. "You understand? You're about as stealthy as Valentina with a hangover. Sneaking is my domain, capiche?"

"What if he tries to hurt you, though?" said Lacrie.

"Or if we need to take the sphere from him by force!" growled Brunhild.

"No time, no time," muttered Dandelion.

"Let's just go get him now!" growled Brunhild, grasping her sword. "Screw sneaking around!"

"I know!" said Dandelion. She deftly took the magic chest from Kaergat's backpack before he had time to object. She placed it on the ground, 'embiggened' it, and opened the lid. The grass beneath looked dusky. "Get in," said Dandelion. "And hurry!"

Brunhild jumped in without a second thought. Lacrie followed nervously, and Kaergat, facepalming, went next.

"Nice," said Dandelion, 'unembiggening' the chest and stowing it away.