Draconic Sphere Ω

Chapter 39: What Was Your Name Again?

Dandelion was the last to groggily arrive at the breakfast table the next morning.

"Good morning, Dandelion," said Kaergat. "It is good that you are here. We were just making plans for the mission –"

"No," said Dandelion. "Today is my day off. I am going to read a book. I am going to keep reading a book until I find out if Princess Sofia Noelia Primrose Watsworth, who was raised by nuns in Sunvalley Abbey and moved to the Royal Castle after discovering who she really is, marries the bad boy with the heart of gold or the uptight duke who is learning to let his hair down. Then I'm going to drop ketamine."

"I don't think –"

"Do I really need to start a labour union here, Kaergat? Next question – are you going to eat those entrails?" Without waiting for an answer, Dandelion took Kaergat's half finished plate of food and started eating.

Lacrie got up. "Can I borrow the Luggage for today, Kaergat?"

"What for?" asked Kaergat.

"Laughing Joe insisted that the concept of free will is ultimately an illusion based on our moralistic need to believe that evil always arises out of choice. I realised that his arguments gloss over some foundational assumptions such as... uh... anyway, I want to use the portal and go talk to him."

"It is fine, you can take the Luggage," said Kaergat.

"Thanks," said Lacrie. She left.

Verano was walking by. "Good morning, Dandelion," he said, looking kind of concerned.

"Mornin'," said Dandelion with her mouth full.

Francois joined them, bumping into Verano with his huge hat. "Hello, Dandelion. I just wanted to say, if you need any support, I'm here for you."

"Cool. Can you get me some juice? What, is it my birthday or something?" said Dandelion.

"You didn't hear?" asked Verano as Francois went to get Dandelion some juice. "Lord Pineapple Discombobulate the second won. And... well... they already passed that halfling ghetto law."

"You should never make assumptions based on appearance, you know," said Dandelion. "Are there any more of those slimy things? What are they, anyway?"

"You're not a halfling?" asked Verano in surprise.

"Nah, I'm totally a halfling. I'll be fine, anyway. I didn't get where I am today in life by obeying laws. That's all I'm saying."

"Hey, y'all," said Chekhov cheerily, approaching the table. "Why the long faces?"

Brunhild stared. Chekhov was wearing a shirt which said "VOHꓘƎHƆ". He was also wearing his beard un-braided and cut down to half-length. This felt very, very wrong.

"Oh, hello," said Verano. "I'm Verano, what's your name?"

"My name," said Chekhov, grinning and doing a bad approximation of a dwarvish salute, "is Hildegard Franz Wilhelm Eisenfaust."

Kaergat and Brunhild gaped at Chekhov.

"Oh," said Verano, trying to salute Chekhov back. "What shall I call you? Hildegard? Wait... is that one of Chekhov's shirts?"

"Voh...kech?" Francois read aloud as he returned with Dandelion's juice.

"I used Thunderblag's Aesthetic Reversal on my clothes. They're all totally different now," Chekhov whispered in Kaergat's ear, giving him a big wink. To Verano, he said: "I'm an old friend of Chekov's, see? I came when I heard he'd kicked it."