From Knives to Pens

From Knives to Pens - Chapter 33

A/N: Thanks for all the reads and comments, it's really amazing to see. Here's the next chapter and because it's so short I might upload another one. I know I say this a lot but I'm not going to be posting all that often as I need to focus on other things other than writing next week. As always, comment your thoughts and notify me of any mistakes. Thank! Ciara x

Chapter 33 Willow’s POV:

I spend the whole day by my Mother’s side.  I sit in the armchair by her bedside, staring into space, listening to the repetitive beeps of the machines around her. Zack lies curled up next to Mum on the bed, unmoving and not saying a word. It’s such a horrible place to be.

Andy’s silent for most of the time, not knowing what to say. He sits in the corner thinking. Every so often he gets up to get a drink and asks me if I want anything. The answer is always the same, no. I feel that if I eat anything I will only throw it back up again.

Eventually I must fall asleep because the next thing I know, I am being woken up by voices outside of the room. I lift my head from where it came to rest on my Mum’s bed, and study the room. Andy’s not there. I rise from the chair as quietly as I can, not wanting to wake the sleeping Zack.

Slowly, I walk to the door. I don’t look through the blinds knowing I will be spotted. Instead, I listen through the door.

“How are they holding up?” I hear a familiar female voice ask. My heart pounds. No, it can’t be.

“They’re doing as well as they can be. Willow’s blaming herself for what has happened and I keep telling her she couldn’t have done anything to stop it… She won’t listen.” I hear a deep male voice reply sadly. Andy.

I hear a sigh. “Willow can’t blame herself! Do they know who did this to her Mum?” The familiar voice asks again.

“We haven’t heard from the police yet and the doctor didn’t say anything.” Andy says sadly.

“Hopefully when they do find out who did it Willow will stop blaming herself.” I close my eyes and sink to the floor, my back against the wall.

Sammi’s here, I can’t believe it. I’m glad that she’s here but I don’t want her to see me like this. I’m a mess. I know she’ll understand but I can’t help but feel I’m being weak. I should be looking after my brother, not staring into space.

“Is she with her Mum now?” Sammi asks.

“Yeah. She was asleep when I left.” Andy replies. His voice is sad. “I don’t know what to do. I keep offering her food and drink but she always refuses. I feel completely hopeless.”

I turn my body so I’m facing the window. Pushing myself up onto my knees, I lift the corner of the blinds and peak outside. Andy stands with his back to me with Sammi stood opposite him. She looks amazing with her red and black hair cascading down to her shoulders and wearing a black leather jacket. Her expression is worried and I know the cause of her worry is me and my family. Sammi’s hand is on Andy’s shoulder, comforting him.

Tears spring to my eyes. My hand falls from the blinds and I sink to the floor. Andy shouldn’t be here, he should be with his friends not with his girlfriend and her ill Mother. It’s a waste of his time.

I cradle my head in my hands in despair. I feel completely lost. My brother is too grief stricken to talk, my boyfriend has no idea how to deal with me, my Dad’s dead and my Mum’s in a coma. I feel so alone. I would talk to Andy but I can tell by the way he’s talking to Sammi he’s struggling more than he lets on, at least to me.

Whilst I was thinking I missed half of Andy and Sammi’s conversation. “… you’re trying. Most boyfriends would give up in this kind of situation. Stick with it Andy, don’t give in.” I hear Sammi say in a soft voice.

“I’m not doing her any good by being here! I feel like I’m only making things more difficult and that’s not what I want.” Andy’s voice is anxious. I imagine him running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“She’s going to be struggling Andy. She’s going to need you by her side and not doubting yourself! I know if this were me and Jinxx I would want him with me every step of the way. Be with Willow but don’t stress her out. Look after her because I would imagine she’s not going to be looking out for herself. Willow’s going to be too worried about her Mum.” Sammi says.

 I close my eyes. All Andy wants to do is make things easier for me. I care for him so much and all I’m doing is making life harder for him. I need him but I don’t want to make him unhappy. Being with me at the moment is going to do just that.

Slowly, I rise from my spot on the cold floor. I walk to the door and open it slowly. Both Sammi and Andy’s heads turn my way as I emerge from the room. The look on Sammi’s face when she sees me tells me how terrible I look.

“Oh Willow…” She says quietly, walking towards me. Slowly, as if not wanting to startle me, she wraps me into a warm hug. I hug her back, tears springing to my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

We break apart and she holds me by the shoulders. “When did you get here?” I ask her in a quiet voice.

“Me and Jinxx landed this morning. We were worried about you when Jake told us about your Mum and we wanted to be out here to support you guys.” She answers, rubbing my arm comfortingly.

“You really don’t have to. We’re fine, honestly.” I lie. I’m so glad she’s here but I don’t want her to feel like she has to stay.

The look Sammi gives me lets me know she sees through my lie. “You forgot to bring your things back with you; you were in such a rush.” Sammi says with a sad smile. “Me and Jinxx bought them with us.”

“Thank you.” I say, trying to smile. Sammi wraps me in a hug again briefly before pulling away.

“I better get back to Jinxx. He’s waiting in the taxi downstairs. We’ll put all of your things in our hotel room until you can take them back to your house.” Sammi says.

I shake my head. “I can’t have you staying in a hotel! Stay in our house, we’re not going to be using it.” I exclaim.

“Are you sure?” Sammi asks looking unsure.

I nod. “You’re here for me so the least I can do is offer you my home instead of you paying for a hotel.”

“Thanks Willow, it’s really good of you to offer. I promise me and Jinxx will keep it tidy and we’ll buy our own food and things.” Sammi says smiling appreciatively at me.

Before Sammi leaves I tell her where to find the spare house key and my address. She gives me one last hug before she leaves. I stand there, watching her go. I can’t believe she’s really here.

I’m startled by a warm hand touching my shoulder. I spin around and see Andy behind me, a sad smile on his face.

“Oh hey.” I say surprised and slightly embarrassed that I forgot he was there.

“How are you?” Andy asks, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling my close to him. I loop my arms around his waist and look up into his blue eyes.

“I’m ok. It was good to see Sammi.” I say softly. Being close to Andy makes me feel calmer, all my earlier thoughts fading to the back of my mind.

“Good.” He says quietly.

Andy runs a hand through my hair and he watches it fall through his fingers. My breath comes faster at his touch.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Andy asks me. He gazes into my eyes and I see his concern for me. It pains me to know that he cares so much for me and all I’m doing is making things hard for him.

I swallow the tears that rise in my throat and nod. He smiles and we walk hand in hand down the corridor.