From Knives to Pens

From Knives to Pens - Chapter 42

Chapter 42 Willow’s POV:

Andy and I leave the hospital building , hand in hand. I know I should probably not hurt myself further by being this close to him, it’s only going to make breaking up with him that much harder. His hand entwined with mine feels so right, so natural, that I can’t bear myself to let go just yet.

I notice him sending me looks full of worry but I pretend not to notice them as we enter the park. We take a seat on the same bench we occupied last time we were in the park. I supress the tears that threaten to stream down my face as I recall how happy we were last time we were here. I wish we could go back to that point in time.

Reluctantly I take my hand from Andy’s. He looks at me confused and I look away into my lap.

“Willow, please tell me what’s wrong.” Andy says softly. His hand reaches for mine again but I move away. It pains me to treat him this way but I need to do this.

I take a deep rattling breath before I blurt it out. “Andy we need to break up.”

I force myself to meet his eyes after I say those six words that confirm my heartbreak. Andy’s expression is one of pure shock. He stares down at me his eyes pained.

“Why?” He asks quietly. I gulp. Tears pool in my eyes.

“I’m not doing you any good Andy! You’re a musician and I can’t take that away from you. At the moment you need to focus on your music, you’ve just released a new album! I need to focus on Mum’s recovery and our relationship is only going to make things harder for the both of us. I’m sorry Andy.” I whisper. I long to reach out and caress his cheek but I don’t. Instead I quickly brush away the tears that have begun to fall.

“We can make things work! I can’t lose you.” Andy begs. He looks so desperate and I know breaking up is killing him as much as me.

“It’s for the best Andy. Please.” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s not for the best Willow! We’ve only been together two weeks, how can we be over?” Andy pleads.

I stare at him, shocked. He’s begging me to stay with him, something I never imagined. Andy Biersack wants me. His blue eyes gaze into mine and I feel myself being pulled into them.

Before I can be swayed, I look away. “Andy, please don’t make this any harder than it already is.” I choke out between silent sobs.

“This is unnecessary Willow! We can be together.”

“No we can’t!” I say, turning back to face him. “Everyone still thinks you and Juliet are going out!”

Andy keeps his eyes locked on mine as he takes his phone out of his jean pocket. Looking away for a moment, he furiously types something on his phone. After about a minute he turns the phone to face me. It shows Andy’s twitter page. His latest tweet is as follows:

“Dear our loyal fans,

This is an update on the relationship of me and Juliet Simms. For about a month now we have no longer been seeing each other for personal reasons. Both Juliet and I would appreciate if you didn’t question our decision but let us move on with our lives. Thank you the support you gave us while we were together, I know it meant a lot to the both of us.

Much appreciation,

Andy.”

I look from the phone my eyes clouded with tears. Andy puts the phone back in his pocket and gazes at me with so much compassion. I shake my head sadly.

“It doesn’t change anything Andy. We’re too different, we can’t be together.” I lie. Andy and I are very similar and I know he knows it by the look on his face.

“Don’t do this. Hear me out.” He says, taking both my hands in his. The rational part of my brain tells me to pull away, that I’ll give in if I don’t. I ignore it, wanting to savour the feel of his hands entwined with mine before it is ripped away from me. Taking my silence as an opportunity for him to continue he does. “You’re special Willow and I adore you. I’m crazy about you and I know my feelings are returned. Every time we touch I feel a spark like I’ve never felt with anyone before. Don’t dismiss our relationship, I can’t lose you. Our relationship is still young and we’ve been going through a hard time lately, all this stress is just adding up. Give us time Willow. Everything will work out. Don’t worry about my career; it can go on hold for a while.”

Andy smiles at me hopefully and I know he means every word. I look down at our clasped hands and I don’t try to fight the tears that fall. “That’s the thing Andy. You can’t put your life on hold for me, it’s not right.”

“I can do whatever I like. The band will understand.” He says desperately.  Andy pushes away a piece of hair that falls in front of my face as my shoulders shake with pathetic sobs. I’m meant to be strong, not crying.

“Andy please understand.” I plead, not looking up. A tear splashes from my face onto our clasped hands.

“No Willow. I’m not letting you go.” Andy says softly. I feel his head rest on mine and I close my eyes tightly.

I take a shaky breath before I say the words that make me want to curl up in a corner and die slowly and painfully. “I don’t want to be with you anymore Andy. I don’t feel the same about you as I did before.” I lie.

Andy’s head stops resting on mine and I hear him take a sharp intake of breath. My body shakes with tears as Andy’s hands remove themselves from mine.

“You don’t mean it.” He whispers, his voice choked.

“I do.” I say, making my voice strong.  Meeting his eyes defiantly, I tell myself repeatedly that this needs to be done for both of us.

We’re both silent for a moment. We stare into each other’s eyes. Andy’s are full of pain and my heart begins to break. I keep my eyes free of emotion.

“So we’re over, just like that?” Andy says quietly. I nod, unable to speak afraid I’ll say something I’ll regret. He takes a rattling breath and turns his head skyward.

After a moment of silence, Andy rises from the bench. He looks down at my remorseful figure on the bench, his eyes full of pain. They look slightly damp and I suppress tears.

Before I can protest Andy’s lips meet mine. They are soft and I lose myself in them for the last time. “I love you.” He whispers against my lips.

Soon I’m alone in the park. Only then do I allow myself to break down in tears. In the quiet of the empty park, with just the birds in singing in the trees, I hear my heart break into a million pieces.

A/N: It's the end of From Knives to Pens. :'( BUT THE SEQUEL WILL BE UP SOON!! I'll put a notice at the end of this book when it's up so anyone who wants to read it can. I hope you enjoyed this first installment and enjoy the next one! I'm really excited to share it with you! Also enjoy the video link. It's the song by Black Veil Brides that this whole story is based on called Knives and Pens. Check it out, it''s AMAZING!!

I want to thank the people who have helped make all of this possible. I want to thank my good friend Emily (@VampireKanagroo) for believing in me from the start. Without her I doubt I would have ever posted on here. I also want to thank my family who read this. My Mum who has always believed in my writing, sister Megan who is my biggest fan ;) (@MegMotionlessinwhite) and no thanks to my other sister Ashlinn (@AshlinnA7X) who refuses to read my writing ;), thanks to my Gran and Grandad's who I love dearly and my Aunt (@Fxfmly1) who has been a massive support to me throughtout this whole process.  And last but definitely not least, my readers! THANK YOU!!! See you  in the next chapter in the From Knives to Pens sequence!!