Alyssa Chávez has felt alone for most of her life. She was never good at making friends. She always felt a distance between her and her family. So when the apocalypse happened, her social life didn't take much of a hit. After losing her family, Alys...
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Chapter Thirty-Eight Numb
Alyssa picked at the carpet beneath her bed. She lay on her stomach, one arm dangling next to the bed, trying to tear pieces of cotton from the carpet. The curtains were closed, but rays of sunshine managed to poke through. They felt warm on her arms and the back of her legs beneath her pajama shorts.
She'd been like this for days after their encounter with the Saviors. She wasn't sure why, but she just couldn't seem to get herself out of bed for longer than a meal. Her paints lay dried out on the desk next to her canvas; some unfinished picture of Carl that waited for her to get herself together. She felt empty, drained of herself. She kept wondering where the girl went who broke into vending machines with Carl and Patrick, who tried to crack jokes after being shot, who had enough fight in her to tell Rosita to cut away the infected flesh from her wound while she was still conscious.
She kept going over that day in her head. Over and over again she tried to find what it was that made her like this. These were all things she had gone through before. Being taken hostage and imprisoned? Check. Being afraid for your life? Check. Having to kill people in a life-or-death situation? Check. So why was she affected by it now when she wasn't before?
Carl came over to her house a lot now. Their parents had decided to just let him. Alyssa thought they hoped maybe he could get her up and about again. She still felt safe and loved with him, but it didn't help pull her out of this mood.
"How many days has it been?"
"Seven. Ever since they got back."
"And you've never seen her like this either?"
Alyssa sighed. It was like they thought the door was soundproof and she couldn't hear them talk about her. Clearly, Carl was really worried if he was bringing Mikey and Enid over. She was curious to see how they thought they could fix this.
"No. In all the time I've known her she's always been...well, Alyssa," Carl said, sighing. The voices were getting stronger now and she could hear the footsteps coming closer.
"I'll talk to her. Just wait here," Enid told the two before opening Alyssa's bedroom door without knocking and inviting herself in. She shut the door behind her and walked over to her window to open the blinds before Alyssa could turn her head to look up. When she did, Enid stood right in front of her.
"Good morning to you too," Alyssa deadpanned. She rolled over onto her back and put her arm in front of her face to shield her eyes from the light.
"Snap out of it. Get up," Enid ordered while crossing her arms.
Alyssa sighed and just turned away from her.
"You told me not to be miserable, so what the hell kind of message is this supposed to be, huh? I don't know what happened out there, so I can't tell you to get up and get over it, but you can't do this. You have to talk to me, or to Carl, or to Glenn and Maggie. Hell, talk to Father Gabriel if that's what you need, but don't just lay here like someone who's given up," Enid ranted and Alyssa understood why she'd asked the boys to stay outside, though they could definitely hear her. Even if the walls hadn't been thin, her voice could travel through them with ease.
