The silence was tight in the balcony. Hyunjin knew it was a bad idea, he didn't want to return to their town. He didn't want to dig up all the memories he'd tried so hard to get rid of.
But he knew it was important to Felix. His boyfriend's hair was neatly tied in a bun, the wind only managed to get to his strays.
He was so deep in thought he'd completely missed the stare Felix had had on him for the longest time.
"Forget it, Jinnie. Let's not go."
"What?"
There was silence again.
"Why?" asked Hyunjin, "you were so.. passionate about it just now!"
"I guess it's the travelling. I've been to so many places, seen so many faces, but nothing really feels like home..." He met his boyfriend's eyes, "... like this."
"I don't get you."
"Think about it, Jinnie. We've worked so hard to keep the past behind us. You have. Where else would I be spending so much time with you? At the old town? With its bullies and crimes?"The sunlight made the city look like El Dorado. The gold flashed in Felix's eyes. There was a fissure in his emotions, but it didn't stay long enough for Hyunjin to be sure of it.
"If Jisung didn't care for me when he killsd himself, I don't have to care to visit the place that held all our memories." Felix said, suddenly stern.
"Ah, don't be so harsh. I'm sure he had his reasons."
" Why shouldn't I be harsh? Huh, to think that I'd brought him back to his senses when he'd first stepped foot into college."
Hyunjin could now tell the other was definitely angry.
" Honestly, with how complicated it was getting, I'm glad he... did what he did. "
Suddenly, Felix got up.
He barged out of the balcony. Hyunjin heard the crinkles of a plastic wrapper. He returned with a bowl full of biscuits.
"Mm?"
Hyunjin picked one out."I'm happy you're alive."
Hyunjin didn't know why, but he expected a but, but it never came."I've always wanted a slow life. This sunlight. These potted plants. The blueberries on the china. The chill in the air. The love of my life. And some good biscuits... I'm ready to just forget."
" Gotta admit," Hyunjin ran a hand through the other's long hair, " you've changed."
There was a certain spark of promise in Hyunjin's heart. Was this happening? He couldn't believe it.
He'd been hesitating to remind Felix of the past, to gather its remnants, not only because it'd hurt him, but because, deep in the prison of his heart, he knew Felix would forget all about him and obsess over it. Not just the past. Over Jisung.
Hyunjin felt a little sad for both of them. He knew Felix had once loved Jisung, maybe more passionately than he'd loved him, but that was the gift of youth.
Somewhere deep down, he was glad Jisung was gone.
💛
Authors note:
I don't think anyone's reading this anymore lol.
YOU ARE READING
𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐗 || [𝑴𝒊𝒏𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈]
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