Poem 43 (I thought you changed )

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~I thought you changed
~But i guess not
~Momentary it was
~Gone just like that
~Your face says it all
~Mum still is like a glass doll
~Your prime affects her more than you think
~You believe that she doesn't know anything
~She's just a woman for you it seems
~Am i also not a girl
~That explains everything
~Why I don't tell even those close to me
~Those who know everything but not something
~A secret i'll take to the grave it is
~Maybe dire the more it gets
~Hysterical are your outbursts
~I know enough to say
~Your anger is justified heresay
~But -
~It's left a scar on me so deep
~Even you can't say anything
~I've kept well kept secret as well
~But do i have enough tears to cry about it ?
~I don't & that's fine for me
~As long as you don't make thing's worse for her
~I'll be fine just as it is
~Fine as i've always been
~Expressions of mine won't ever tell you anything
~Panic attacks at every night since a week
~I can't get a hold on my own keep
~Can't you just be the good change for me
~I know i'm asking for every damn thing
~As your daughter i only say this
~I beg of you to not just hold my thoughts hostage just as it is
~I'm not gonna cry
~I've been weak enough now
~I'll be the shine & sparkle
~Something that i've always been for this family
~I'll keep this goody role till eternity
~Just like always
~You don't have to thank me for anything

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