𝐂𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 • 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 • 𝐰𝐥𝐰

𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗒

Hazel

"I'm not sure not , it just doesn't feel like the dress." I shrug looking in the mirror.

"Hazel, this isn't your wedding, this is a ball in blossom peak." Nora says. "You look gorgeous." Only Nora could make it to the dress shopping because unfortunately, coco has no child care. I insisted she bring coco but coco has been a diva recently.

"Thanks Nora. I just wanna look good for Jane." I say.

"I get that but, by the way she looks at you, you don't have to try hard if not at all."

I smile, "I don't even know why I'm trying to impress her, it's not like she's my date." I huff sitting down.

"Hazel I'm so sorry," Nora says sitting next to me. "The world is being mean to you and I can't even imagine how you feel but I want you to know that we all love you, even Jane loves you. Yes she is being made to 'date' this man but we all know that she doesn't love him because she loves you." Nora says placing her hand on mine.

"Thanks Nora."

She looks at me, eyes full of sorrow, like she knows exactly what I'm going through. She smiles softly, "so I'm thinking we try a different colour." Nora says standing up and looking through a rack full of colours. "Aha." She pulls out a beautiful dark blue ball gown. It's a simple silk dress with a puffy bottom. The top is an off the shoulder to which I'm curious about.

I shrug, "let's try." I walk into the changing rooms and begin to get undressed from the other dress. I try not to look at myself in the mirror knowing I'll feel ashamed but I catch a small glimpse. I started to self harm again after a year of going clean. It's like something in me is craving that feeling again and I think it has something to do with Joel because he has so much I don't.

I know he isn't competition but in a way he is. He wants her, it's obvious, who wouldn't want her. He looks at her like she's the only one in the room and I know I do the exact same. It hurts me to know we have one thing alike. But I can't help but wonder if there is something in Jane in which she wants a man. Like she would want me more if I was a man. Things would be much more simpler and she has that opportunity. She has the opportunity to grab Joel's hand and leave me behind. So why doesn't she just take it? What do I have that's better than him? And someone would call me crazy for thinking this but I'm in love. And I can't help it seeing as I'm in a changing room, picking out an dress to impress her whilst she's picking a matching outfit with Joel. So that's why I can't help but think these scenarios. I'm scared to lose her.

I slip on the dress and realise I feel pretty. I feel like I'm worthy of Jane. It's crazy what a piece of fabric can do. I strut out of the changing room and Nora turns to me.

"Hazel, you look gorgeous. This is the dress one hundred percent." She says smiling bright.

I smile a little too. "I think this is definitely the one."

Nora claps with excitement.

-

The ball

I feel the brush swipe the last touch onto my face. My cheeks are now tinted a red which matches my whole 50s look. I feel really really pretty. And it helps to know my friends think I am too.

"Hazel you look insane." Sophia says. She's wearing what I can only describe as an ocean dress. It reminds my of the beach with its flowy structure and shades of blue.

"Says you, your hair looks gorgeous. And you too Nora! I knew pink was your colour."

"Why thank you!" She says bowing.