Sorry Not Sorry

-8 🚦

"Who else!" Max says.

"Xavier!" Kitty says. "I can't wait to see you! I have something... Important to tell you!"

-

I sit on a bench at the gas station, listening to Max talk as he drives over to pick me up. I watch him as he focuses on the road, talking about some story of a party he'd went to once.

I laugh when he finishes the story. "Wait, I'm right here." He pulls up right in front of me.

"Hey." I say, opening the door.

"Hey!" He hangs up the call, and I turn my phone off.

My heart is racing, since Kitty and Max both gave me cryptic messages about some secret Kitty wants to tell me.

My leg bounces up and down as I look out the window. We're both silent, Just listening to his music. "This one's good." I say.

"Huh? "He says.

"This song? It's good." My leg bouncing fastens.

"Oh yeah, it's a favourite of mine." He says, turning it up a bit. "Sorry for making you repeat that. " he says.

"It's ok. What's on your mind?" I ask.

"It's just, we've only known each other for like- three days." Max says. "And those three days have been such a rollercoaster." He chuckles, shaking his head.

I nod, looking over at him. My leg is still shaking pretty hard. "Yeah. Uh- it's so weird. Haha." I stutter.

He sideyes me. "Are you okay?" He asks. "Do you need me to stop?"

My eyes blur and my ears pound. "Uh- I'm just... Like, nervous. You know." Max nods his head.

"Would it be better for us to keep talking or just be quiet?" He asks.

"Talking." I say.

"Ok, well if it makes you feel any better, what she's going to tell you isn't really a bad thing, and," he shrugs, "It's not about you." He pauses. "She's really excited to tell you. She wanted to say from the start but decided to wait it out before she knew you a tinnnyyyy bit more," he pauses with a smile, "Or I knew you."

-

I inhale a deep breath, as the car pulls into a park. "This is it." I stand on the path, back towards Max, staring up at the house. Max walks in behind me and puts a hand on my shoulder. I sigh.

I walk into Kitty's house. Before she can say anything, I say "Hey. Where's the bathroom?"

"Hey Xavier! It's just in that room there." I walk in, washing my hands. I splash water on my face, wiping it off with a tissue. I sit on the floor, running my fingers through my hair. I look closely at my face in the mirror, stalling, but then I realize they might think I'm taking a massive dump with how long I'm taking.

My phone buzzes with a message, from Max.
'r u ok in there?' He says.
I chuckle and respond. 'Just gaining my composure and stuff.'
He sends a thumbs up emoji, then another message. 'You should get uot here soom kittys going to burst lol.'
I smile at his typos, unsure if they are because his dyslexia, or just him trying to the faster.

I sigh, and open the door. Kitty, Max and Danny are all sitting on the couch. "Is this a panel discussion?"

Max smiles at me and eyes the seat, presumably for me.

I sit down, looking at all of them. "We'll let Kitty do the talking." Max says, and Danny nods.

I gulp, figeting with my fingers. "Ok."

"Ok, so Max, you know how I said I have a roomate...?" Kitty begins.

-

It starts out as a chuckle but soon I'm bursting with laughter. "Oh my god, I really thought it was something bad." I laugh. I'm hysterical.

I try my hardest to gain composure. "Congratulations, Kitty." I giggle. I choke, "Oh my god." I close my eyes and wipe a hand over my face. "I can't even breathe," I say, holding back laughter.

"Seriously?" Max says, standing up, and Kitty stands up too. Danny sits back and smiles, watching us.

"No, not seriously." I say looking up at him. I stand up, and wrap Kitty in a hug. "Thank you for telling me." I say, as the last chuckle fades away.

"You don't know how much this means to me." She says, tears in her eyes.

"How about we go have some fun now?" Danny says.

"Hell yeah!" We chorus.

We sit on the couch, playing Mario cart, when one of the doors open and Katherine comes out. "Oops." She says.

"It's ok, come sit with us." Katherine does, and Kitty wraps an arm around her shoulder.

-

Apparently, the 'big news' was Kitty announcing to me that she doesn't have a roomate, she has a wife. And that wife is our coach, Katherine.

I watch Kitty's eyes sparkle as she screams with joy when her wife finishes first. "Eat that!" They fist bump each other.

Seeing Kitty and Katherine together makes me so happy in a way I can't even describe. At one point I mention that their ship name would be 'Kitty Kat' and they both burst into laughter.

"Kitty Kat, oh my god!" Katherine chuckles.

-

I've never really had a crush- I haven't even had a real friend. As a child, and in high school too, I was known as the boy who couldn't keep his temper, and everyone around me was too scared to even aproach me.

Luckily, my bad reputation kept me safe from bullies too, but it also stripped me of plenty of childhood experiences, which I never got to experience. Not only that, I was also the kid with no parents, even when I had Tanya.

I'd give anything to fall in love now, despite the fact I'm worried about not having experienced it in my earlier years.

My eyes blur as I stare at the tv, little carts zooming around. Someone says something to me, but I can't hear because my eyes droop shut and my head falls.

-