Sorry, Not Sorry

- 44

I think for a moment, holding my phone out to take a photo of the school's gate, leaning over the centre console. "Not really." I eventually say, my arm shaking as I hold it up. "It was just a school to me." I pause, "A boring school."
After a little while, I put my phone in my lap, looking down at the photos I took. "Though nothing happened, that didn't mean I still didn't make the 'best' of it."
I squint my eyes at the photos, more than half blurred and with fingers covering the camera.
"How so?" Max asks, still looking out over the disheveled schoolyard as I reach my arm out to take better photos.

"I was pretty pissed all the time. If I didn't understand what the teachers were teaching, I'd usually run out of their rooms." I sigh, "I guess I was probably a fun gossip for the others." I explain, "I mean, 'did you hear Xavier ran out again', 'oh my god, again!', 'yeah, what a loser! What was it this time, the teacher speaking too low?'" I mock, still holding the camera in my hands as Max turns his face towards me, a big smile on his face.
"I'd be your friend." He announces.
I look at him, wide eyed, my lips parted. "I- I, maybe, but probably not. I- I was pretty outcasted."

"Did you fight people?" He asks, his eyes locked into mine.
"Uhh- no. No. I didn't get into any fights- as you can tell." I point to my nose, the thin scar warping my skin. "If I'd had experience fighting maybe I would've been able to fight back." My mind is begging me to break away from his gaze but I can't, not yet.

"Maybe." He says, still smiling slightly. Finally he looks away, his face illuminated by the sunrays shining out like a halo.
Without even thinking, I take a photo of him, quickly stashing my phone away nearly as fast as I'd pulled it out. "Let's get going, then." He says, pulling back onto the road.

I click my seatbelt back in, chewing my lip as I think. "Maybe we should try to spend as little time out and about here as we can..." I suggest, "Just go straight to the orphanage?"
Max nods, following the instructons coming from my phone.

The orphanage is tall, probably three floors, and the building itself is dark brick with white windows evenly spaced across the front. "Maybe we shouldn't be here." I say, clutching my phone in my hand. "I mean, what if we seem like creeps?"

"Take the photo." Max says, looking up at the building from where we stand, across the street. I oblige with a groan, quickly shoving my phone away in my pocket as the front door opens with a  creak. I glance at Max, frozen. He smiles, waving at the teenage girl who'd opened the door. "Max!" I hiss, tugging at his sleeve. "We've got the photo, let's just go." I argue. He slides his hand down to grip my own tightly, taking a step onto the street. Maybe I'd be flustered if I wasn't so anxious, but that second feeling -unfortunately- happened to be the dominant cause for my current pounding heart.

He jogs across the street, frightening the young girl who peeks at us from behind the door. I groan, dragged after him. "Who are you?" She asks, her voice shaky.
"Is this the Orphanage?" Max asks, just as I catch up to him.

"Oh. Yeah." She groans, opening the door. "Are you customers?" She leads us inside, gesturing for us to sit on the scratchy brown couch in the waiting room, a wobbly table placed beside it with a green lamp on top of that, as well as a pile of various magazines. "Well, Mum's not in right now... She asked me to open up the doors. She said we weren't expecting anyone."

"Mrs West?" I ask, the name coming to me in a flash, as I sit down on the couch. I say it without thinking, suddenly feeling familiar dispute this entry having changed since my time here.
"Er, yeah. Mrs West. Do you know her?" She picks at the a thread on the chair opposite the couch. I shrug. "Um. Anything to drink?" She asks.
"Coffee?" Max asks, scratching his shoulder.
"Got it." She says, "What about you?" She asks, turning to me.

I shake my head. "Nothing,  thank you." She nods, walking away through a hallway. "I didn't know you drink coffee." I say, leaning closer go Max as I whisper.
"Well, sometimes." He says with a smile.
"You seem cheerful today." I say, tilting my head, "Is something up?"
"No." He says, "I mean, we've finaly reached our destination! We're halfway through, halfway closer to being home."
A tight lipped smile spreads in my face, "Yeah. Home"