My Life Without Her

-Him-

"What did you put in my mother's breakfast?" I heard Eleanor's voice from behind me as I had finished washing the dishes, I dried my hands on the rag and turned to look at her with a confused glance "Did you put her under some kind of Lucas spell or something?"

"What are you talking about?" I chuckled as I approached her and she eyed me cautiously

"Did you do some weird voodoo on her food?" She asked as she crossed her arms over her chest and I chuckled remembering she used to do that all the time and I found it adorable. Still do. "Come on, fess up."

"I did nothing to her food." I said as I raised my hands in defense "Why? Did she love it?" I said excitedly and she glared at me slightly "What?"

"Oh, she loved it!" I exclaimed "She loved it so much she went on to ranting on about my relationship with you and Nate!" I looked at her in confusion

"What do you mean?" I asked and she groaned loudly as she covered her face with her hands

"Nothing, it's stupid." She muttered "Just forget about it, I'm sorry." She said as she started to make her way towards the kitchen, but I grabbed her wrist and whipped her around, her chest colliding with mine as she looked up at me through her eyelashes, blinking slowly

"What about us?" I whispered softly and she blinked rapidly "From what I remember there isn't an 'us' anymore."

"Lucas..." She breathed as she tried to loosen her wrist from my hand but I gripped even tighter onto it, but not to the point where I hurt her "please let go."

"Or am I wrong?" I said, my voice barely above a whisper "Because... being back here, together, is driving me crazy, Angel..."

"What do you mean?" She breathed

"People who break up out of the blue can't just go back to friends in the snap of a finger." I muttered "I know we agreed to be friends, but..."

"Please, don't."

"I have to." I breathed as I let go of her wrist, sliding my hands down her arms, causing her to shiver as goosebumps formed on her arms "I'm still crazy in love with you Eleanor Grey." I whispered as I looked deeply into her eyes as I entwined our fingers together slowly "And I know that deep down, very deep down," he added "I know you still love me too." I said as I leaned closer and kissed the corner of her mouth, lingering there for a couple seconds as her breath fanned my neck.

She looked at me in shock before scoffing slightly as she rolled her eyes and pulled her hands away roughly before stomping up the stairs and slamming the door behind her

"Goddammit Angel, what are you doing to me?"

******

"Thank you for the breakfast, Lucas." Eleanor's mother said as we were all sat around the dinner table, eating pizza we had ordered. Eleanor and I hadn't spoken after out little 'moment'. I could tell she was purposely ignoring me "It was delicious and the flowers definitely made me happier." I nodded as she smiled gratefully

"I just thought it'd be something nice I could do, given the fact you gave me a place to sleep while I'm here." I said as she waved her hand dismissively at me

"You're always welcome here, Lucas." She said with a small smile "Remember that." I heard the screech of a chair causing me to wince as I glanced at Eleanor who abruptly stood up

"Not hungry anymore." She muttered before heading up towards the stairs and into her room; I glanced at Eleanor's mother and she nodded softly, motioning to where Eleanor bad gone. Once I reached the second floor I made my way towards her room and knocked on her door

"Go away." She snapped and I sighed heavily before knocking even louder on the door "Go away, Lucas!" She snapped and my nostrils flared as I gripped onto he doorknob and barged into her room, causing her to whip around, giving me the perfect view of her red eyes and puffy face "What part of 'Go Away!' don't you understand?!" She exclaimed as she grabbed the nearest object which turned out to be a pillow, and flung it in my direction; I dodged it of course. "Please, just... leave me alone." She said as she turned further away from me as I caught the sound of her voice cracking slightly

"Can we talk?" I whispered as I made my way towards her slowly, she inched further away from me slightly, causing me to pinch the bridge of my nose "Angel, come on; don't be like this..."

"Like what?!" She exclaimed "Upset?! Because I am!" She huffed before turning away from me again

"Why?" I breathed and she abruptly stood up and smacked my chest, her eyes blazing with anger and hurt

"You know why!" She snapped "You think that because you tell me you're still in love with me, that I'll just run into your arms and tell you that I'm still in love with you too!" She snapped "Well, news flash; I'm not!"

"That's not why I did it." I said as I clenched my hands into fists "I said it because I mean it, Angel. What other reason do I need?"

"What? Do you want me back or something?" She asked and I sighed heavily before pinching the bridge of my nose

"Of course I do, Angel." I whispered and she blinked rapidly as she looked up at me "I've never wanted nothing more, and I said what I did because... I just thought we had something."

"Luke..." She whispered "you know I'm engaged..."

"Yeah, I know, I know." I muttered "But I can't help but feel like there's something there..." I said as I rubbed the back of my neck "don't you feel it too?" I asked and she bit her lip slightly, her silence indicated me that she most definitely did. She sat down on her bed as she fiddled with her fingers, I heard her sniffle and I saw a teardrop fall onto her lap so I crouched down and lifter her chin: she avoided my gaze as her bottom lip quivered, I wiped the tears with my thumb and caressed her cheek softly, causing her to close her eyes and more tears fell from her eyes

"I don't want to feel like this, Luke." she croaked as she bit her bottom lip while I entwined our hands together "I'm engaged and... this is wrong."

"We haven't done anything..." I muttered and she looked at me seriously "Why is that such a bad thing?" I asked as I caressed her cheek once again

"Because it's wrong and someone is bound to get hurt." She whispered as she met my gaze and then turned away as she clenched her eyes shut tightly "W-We can't do this Luke..." She whispered and I slowly stood up from my crouched position "I'm engaged..."

"Yeah, you've said that about a thousand times." I muttered dryly "Well, when you're done trying to convince yourself that this 'engagement' of yours is a good idea, give me a call."

"Are you seriously getting mad at me right now?" She said as she raised her voice while she made her way towards me and stood in front of me, blocking my path, I sighed deeply

"Move." I said, glaring at her slightly, she stood firm as she crossed her arms over her chest "Yes, I'm mad at you okay!" I snapped and she flinched at my tone

"Why? What did I do?!" She exclaimed and I pinched the bridge of my nose "Answer me, Lucas!"

"Nothing! You did nothing and that's just it!" I bellowed and she backed away but still frowned in confusion "You drive me nuts and I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I don't kiss you right now." I said as I tried to control my breathing back to steady, but as she slowly made her way towards me, my heart rate only quickened "Oh, fuck it." I muttered before grabbing her waist, pulling her close to me before directing my hands to cup her face as I hungrily slammed my lips into hers.