Promise 224 | mark

#48

˗ˋ playιng: [ voicemail #48 ] - solace ˊ˗
2:09 ────♡─── 3:12

lıllılı.ıllı.ılılıı 請用耳機聽 lıllılı.ıllı.ılılıı

It had been a week and a half since the company had revealed the whole story to Mark, and it felt like another heavy burden was placed on his shoulders. The strength and hope he once had of being with Jiyun felt like a dull throbbing pain in his heart, and a distant memory.

Without the very thing that made him feel alive, he resorted to the next best thing that grounded him — work. Practice after practice, extra self practices after practising, the days slowly blurred together into a hazy timeline.

He loved to believe that everything happens for a reason, and that the world brought Jiyun back to him as some sort of sign. But that belief felt bleak now as doubts started creeping into his thoughts.

Maybe he shouldn't have stayed attached in the first place.

Mark could barely focus on dancing, his concentration lost to his incessant worries and concerns over everything and anything. He shouldn't worry about Jiyun, but he did. He shouldn't want to so desperately interact with her, but he did.

The distance between them felt suffocating, he longed to be next to her but he knew that nothing good would come out of it. The gnawing feeling at his gut was unbearingly painful, he felt like giving up.

The thought that he caused the incident made his stomach churn, anxiety spiking and cold sweat beading down his forehead. Whatever it could have been or might have been, he couldn't bear with the heavy weight of guilt from it all.

And that's why, at the end of the day, he defeatedly remained silent. Not reaching out for his phone, nor making an effort to contact the girl. All because of the fear that clawed at his conscience.

Mark's body moved on it's own, the choreography already ingrained into every fibre of his being. The song he danced to was a constant hum as he danced, not really hearing or paying attention to the beats of the music, making his moves rather sloppy.

That was until the song got paused halfway by the worried boy who had been watching him for the past hour. Haechan grew concerned as he saw how Mark was physically present but mentally absent.

Despite the music that had came to a stop, Mark still continued moving, his eyes showing the same dazed look. Haechan knew better than anyone that he was stressed out, and had a lot on his mind.

"Hey," the concerned boy stepped forward tentatively, a stark contrast to his normally playful personality. "Are you okay?" he continued once Mark's movements slowed to a stop, breathing heavily and heart racing. Haechan stood there patiently, giving the latter time to come back to his senses.

Mark collapsed on the ground, his legs giving out. The burning of his limbs only becoming more agonising once he stopped. Haechan rushed forward, crouching down next to him. "Be careful," Haechan warned with a stern glare. "Are you feeling alright?"

Mark blinked at him in confusion, the fog that infiltrated his thoughts clearing up as he came back to reality. His lips was pulled in a grim line, clearing his throat that seemed to be choked up. "I'm fine," he managed, the stiffness of his shoulder saying otherwise.

"Is this about Jiyun? You know the fans will get over it and the company would protect her identity right?" Haechan softly spoke, patting him on the back to provide some sort of moral support. "I'm sure you two will find a way to be with each other, didn't you do it once? You can do it again," he reassured, nodding firmly as if to affirm himself. "Oh yeah and didn't they give you back your phone yesterday after practice? You can try to talk to her again."

The words were just at the tip of his tongue, wanting to simply spew out all his troubled thoughts on how he is the reason for her pain and everything in between. Mark felt like he was falling deeper into a hole of self-loathing, nothing could make up for the void that Jiyun had filled.

She was within his reach yet so far at the same time. He had never felt so inadequate in his life. His ears rung, chest aching, and each breath he took felt more suffocating than the last. He bit his lip to stop the tears that threatened to spill from the overwhelming whirl of emotions, not wanting to bare himself to anyone right now.

He managed to get through this last time without anyone knowing about anything, so what's so different now?

"I know," he simply replied, not being able to muster up the ability to say anything else. His throat constricting and his words choked.

Haechan sighed, concerned yet knowing how the elder was, it was hard to get him to crack. "You know we will always have your back, just promise me you'll come to us if you really have to?" He raised his pinky, and Mark stared at it, heart warming slightly from the solace that his friend provided.

Hooking his own pinky with the latter, it felt like a moment of peace where he was reminded of what and who he did have by his side. And for the first time in a while, his lips curved into a small smile.

Happy halloween! Updates real slow bc i actually cant get back my motivation rn 😞 my exams for the year all done though im so happy