⌞ the chain ⌝

⌞ eight : hard talks ⌝

"Yeah, later."

_

The weeks passed faster now that I was counting them down. Monaco was right around the corner, which meant I would have to trade in the grease-stained cargo pants for a Dior summer set. And with everything that happened with Charlie, Rev was starting to get curious. I figured I would end up telling him if he asked, but he hadn't outright done so. I'm assuming this was the day he would.

I passed the glass to him, watching as he walked around the flat. He had been here before but not like this. This was in the middle of the day, sunlight, day clothes. I watched him as he looked over everything. He had to have guessed who I was by now. With Charlie showing up, the things around the flat, the fact that Charlie had to drop my name. If he hadn't figured out who I was, I would be surprised.

"Eilulia. That's your name, right?"

I nodded, moving to sit on the counter. "Yeah, Eilulia Leclerc."

"Which would make Jules Bianchi-"

"My godfather."

"And this is his?"

"Well, legally it's mine but oui, this is his flat."

He turned to look at me, maybe fully looking at me for the first time. "Why not say anything?"

"I think the exact thing was 'real life stays out of the circuit' or did I hear wrong?"

He snorted, holding his hands up in defeat. "Okay, fair enough."

"Uh huh."

"Can I hear the full story, then?"

_

The knock at the door pulled me from my book. I groaned as I got up. I knew it was going to be either the rest of the gang because Rev was not one to keep quiet on all things or Lewis and Nico. They never told me when they were going to be in town so I didn't have time to sober up but it was Monaco weekend and there were only so many days they could show up.

"Yes- Seb!"

I was crushed in a hug as he spun the two of us around before setting me back on the ground.

"You've gotten taller, no?"

I shook my head, opening the door for him to come in. "Not at all, just wearing boots."

He chuckled as we both looked down. It was a simple thing but I figured it would be better to stop dressing like a delinquent, if only for the weekend. But the grease on my hands gave it away as Seb raised an eyebrow.

"Working on a car?"

"Maybe."

"Lewis filled me in on everything."

I pretended to act shocked at it all. Lewis was one of the biggest gossips I knew. And to make matters worse, the entire grid liked to gossip. I wouldn't be surprised if all twenty of them knew what was happening in my life. But I was never surprised when it came to my group of fathers.

"And I've heard that Charles stopped by."

"Who told you that?"

"Charles."

I nodded. They would interact all the time, I shouldn't be surprised. They worked together and Charles was friends with them just as much as I was. But it stung for some reason. They were supposed to be my support system and to think that Charles was talking to them... it was like I had nothing that also couldn't be his. I tried to push that anger and jealousy away but it lingered as I helped Seb set up in the guest bedroom.

Once that was all set up, I decided to sit on the balcony. I had told the boys I wouldn't be able to race this weekend. Rev knew the real reason and the others knew better than to question it all. The summer would be ending soon and they would go back to their respective homes. Plus, our track was taken now that they were setting up for the Grand Prix.

Seb joined me out there a few moments later. He liked to talk but he also knew when it was time to be quiet. I liked sitting with him. He could understand things without me having to say anything. And I think he could understand how my entire world felt like it was spinning on its axis.

"Little racer?"

"Seb?"

"You do realize that this isn't the end."

I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to be disrespectful to him but I don't think he understood it in the way that I did. Charlie took everything to me. And this, this one thing that was supposed to be mine.

"Charlie-"

"Oh, you're talking about Charles. I was talking about this double life you are choosing to live."

"I-"

"You cannot be a street racer and the daughter of world champions."

"I can too."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "If you were forced to choose, dear little racer of mine, which would you choose? The track or the street."

I wanted to act like I knew the answer but I sat there, looking out across Monte Carlo. I could see the track being set up. I had seen this track my entire life. Hell, I was sure I could probably race it with my eyes closed. I had walked it so many times, I had run it with Jules. That track flowed through my blood, it was the very thing that made my heart beat... but it wasn't mine.

I wasn't a racer, in that way. I was me. Sitting on the line in a car I practically stole and made my own, and doing it in the darkness of night. I hadn't raced in the way that Charlie did. I wasn't allowed to kart race, I wasn't allowed anything. The street races were mine. All mine. But as I looked out on the most infamous track... my heart ached.

"The track." It was a whisper as if I was scared of saying it.

"That's because you are born to race, Lu. And that track calls to you, as does everything else about Formula racing. You are the only one that can make that choice."

He kissed the top of my head as he walked back inside. I wanted to talk to him, I wanted him to help me work everything out. I wanted his wisdom and that soft smile that always calmed whatever nerves I had. To have him sit here and help me push past my nerves, make everything seem clear.

But that wasn't going to happen. Because I had to make this decision on my own. I couldn't have anyone influence this decision for me. This would be my life. And it would have to be mine to make alone.

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a/n: hehehe seb content and i love him so much, ignore me crying because we might not get him back in formula one but its fine. monaco is next babies. let's go to enjoy the racing aspect of it all. aha.. as always, love it or don't :p