⌞ the chain ⌝

⌞ twenty-five : storms ⌝

"You've got fire in you. Just need to learn how to use it professionally."

_ 

 I sat down on the balcony of my hotel room. The rain was coming down around me as I held the Bianchi crest in my hands. It was cold against the heat of my palms and the rain tattered on my skin, soaking through the thin shirt I was wearing. I didn't care much for it but something was calming about the rain. I wouldn't sit out here long enough to get sick, but I wanted to feel close to him. 

"Jules..." I looked up to the sky. The rain hit my eyes, mixing with my tears so I didn't know which was which. "I need you. I need you more than ever." 

Oh, sweet Lily. You don't need me. Look at your strength. 

I had come to know that this wasn't him. It was my mind, it was the messy part of my brain that tried to make the hard moments of my life easier. But it offered comfort in the moments that I craved it. Even if it all was fake. 

"I do, I do need you. I don't know how to go through this." The rain pressed against my skin, my clothes sticking to me. 

You do. It is nothing you haven't done before. 

"But I lost you..." 

You have not. I am still right here, where it matters. 

"I don't know how to go through this weekend." 

Ah, but you do. You race. There is nothing different about the person you are on the track. Rain or shine. You are a driver, you are a racer. Find the silence and... drive.

_ 

I stood in front of the mirror, looking at myself. The hair I cut the night before, choppy but straight as the curls tucked around my chin. The bright green eyes that always made me think of Charles. The soft smile lines and the crest resting between my collarbones. I was a daughter, and I was a racer. One last breath and I walked out of the room. 

Lando, Alex, and George were waiting in the hallway. Lando was the first to spot me, waving but it dropped when he fully saw me. 

"Bloody hell, you cut your hair." 

George and Alex turned around then, both looking just as shocked. I snorted as I made it to them, Lando and I doing our handshake. Both of us swiped the side of our noses at the same time. 

"I wanted a change." 

"It looks amazing." 

I grinned, nudging George a bit as we all got into the elevator. I could see Jem rounded the corner and watched as Lando hit the close door button over and over. The doors closed right as Jem made it. He made eye contact with me and I shrugged, not caring to fight back the smile. 

"Speaking of that twat, what the fuck was that with the media yesterday?" 

I shrugged as all three boys looked at me. "The reporter got weird with questions about Jules and he stepped in, shut them down." 

"Weird." 

I shrugged again. "It was a nice gesture." 

"He doesn't do nice gestures. He wants something from you."

 I rolled my eyes as we stepped out of the elevator. George, Alex, and Lando trailing behind me like an entourage of dorks about to race in the rain. George and Alex split off with a wave to go with their team and Lando split off to go talk to his engineer which left me with Damon who was looking at me like I was insane. 

"Why- you know what. I don't want to know. The new hair suits you well." 

"You sound like a tired father with a rebellious daughter." 

He held the umbrella over me as we stepped out of the hotel. The rain was still coming down at exponential rates and I was surprised they hadn't canceled or at least pushed back practice for today. But it was still on. As always. They never canceled. 

"You run me like one." 

"It's just a haircut, Damon. Relax a bit." 

"You and your little rebellious streaks. You think I don't know about those?" He helped me into the car, taking the seat away from me. "The street racing?" 

"I- how the fuck do you know about that?" 

He looked at me like I was stupid. "Look at the way you race. Half the shit you do on the track, well the shit you did before we started training, was barely legal." 

"That's not completely true!" 

"Jenson told me." 

I gasped. "You traitor." 

He snorted, tucking the umbrella on the side of the seat. Damon was dressed nicely and we almost matched. His dark blue suit and white button-up went with the navy blue tennis skirt I was wearing and the white blouse. It was giving dad and daughter which made me giggle. Me and my ability to grab father figures. 

"I want to see it someday." 

"What?" 

"This street racing thing of yours." 

I rolled my eyes. "If we go to Monaco at some point, I'll take you." 

"Great, maybe we can build on your driving." 

I went to question him but he got out of the car, helping me out. His arm went around my shoulder to make sure we were both under the umbrella. The rain had slowed a bit but it was still coming down in sheets. 

"Mind if I steal her?" 

I looked over to see Jem walking next to us, standing under his umbrella. Damon looked down at me and I shrugged. I had nothing against it but Damon was the one that controlled my schedule once we were on the track. 

"Eh, have her back in an hour." 

Jem smiled and I ran from one umbrella to the other. He scooted over some to make sure the umbrella covered both of us. I was surprised he kept his hands to his side. 

"Haircut suits you." 

"Oh, thanks." 

"I didn't know your hair was curly." 

I shrugged as we walked toward the track. "I have it straightened a lot." 

"Keep the curls." 

I smiled, nodding as I found myself finding it hard to get the words I wanted to say. But I didn't need to say them because we paused at the very end of the pit lane. The track laid out in front of us and I could barely see ten feet in front of me due to the rain. The wind hit and I started to shake. 

"Didn't you bring a coat?" 

"Fashion over comfort." 

He snorted as he handed me the umbrella. I took it with a raised eyebrow as he shimmied off his jacket, laying it across my shoulders. 

"What's that for?" 

"Well, we're about to walk this track and I would prefer if you didn't freeze before we got to the finish line." 

I let him take the umbrella back from me and the confusion was still all over my face. That was known from the way he looked at me, holding back his little bit of laughter. I wanted to smack it off his face but I was more interested in what he had to say. 

"I figured you would feel a bit better about racing in the rain if you knew the track." 

"That's... why are you being so nice to me?" 

"I'm not." He shrugged as we started to walk. "I just want to make sure I can beat you fair and square. You're my equal. We need to be on equal ground." 

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a/n: some jules moments, some dad damon moments, some jem being a decent person moments. all the things, all the things. excuse me if its dramatic, i was watching the prince of eygpt while i wrote this. as always, love it or don't :p