⌞ the chain ⌝

⌞ nineteen : team orders ⌝

"Right as the flag fell."

_

I couldn't help but smile as I got out of the car. Damon was there to pull me into a hug the second my feet hit the ground. It was probably the nicest hug I had ever received.

"I knew you could do it, kid."

I hugged him back, and for a second it almost felt like I was hugging Jules. I missed him so much in that moment but nothing could beat the pride I felt in myself or that Damon very clearly felt in me.

"I think I almost cried as you said I passed him."

He snorted as he pulled back, ruffling my hair. I swatted his hand away but the smile never left my face.

"It's not even the race. Hell, kid, it's not even qualifying."

"Yeah, maybe so. But it was still the first time I had been on a track and well, raced. And to come up third..."

"Just try to hide that excitement when Zak comes to lecture us."

"I think I can do that."

He smirked as his arm rested across my shoulder, guiding me further into the garage to take a second to breathe before I had to show face. And thankfully, Damon just stood outside the door so I could take my time in my drivers room.

My racing suit came down as I tied it loosely around my waist, taking a towel to wipe away the sweat that built in the hour I was in the car. My hair looked a mess from the helmet and Damon ruffling it. I probably could take the time to rebraid it but I missed the feeling of Lewis doing it and so I left it as I stepped out of the room.

"Let's go do this."

_

I stood off to the side as Lando chatted with the reporter, messing with the cross around my neck. It had cooled down again and I took the welcomed comfort it gave me in the Spanish heat. Damon stood next to me, hand on my shoulder.

I was slightly nervous for this. Lando didn't look mad that I passed him but he also didn't look happy with it. I had directly disobeyed team orders. I didn't feel bad about it, I deserved to actually race but I didn't want to create a rift between Lando and I. We had become quick friends and I didn't want to lose the dynamic we had.

"Lu?"

I looked up as Lando walked past. I gave him a quick smile and he flashed one back. Some of the tension released from my shoulders but returned when I stood in front of the reporter. I tried to play it cool, seeing the camera and the microphone, adjusting it slightly since I was a bit taller than Lando at the current moment. I knew he would pass me in height soon, boys had those weird growth spurts later in life.

"Hello Eilulia."

"Lula, please. Eilulia makes me sound so formal."

The reporter snorted and I smiled a bit. I could make this feel less formal.

"Alright, then let's talk your first practice. How are you feeling?"

"Crazy." I chuckled. "I'm still getting used to the feeling of actually being out there. The car, I know. But the tracks, the other drivers... that's what I have to learn."

"And with you passing Lando at the last moment, how are we feeling about that?"

"I realize now that it wasn't what I was supposed to do. The team orders were to stay behind him but I think it was good. It gave us both a taste of the competition that will come from races. On both sides."

"Do you think you have the ability to come out here and win?"

I took a second to think. I knew what I wanted to say. Some part of me did believe that I could win this weekend. But I couldn't sound cocky. I had to answer this right. And I hadn't been truly media trained. I've watched my fathers do it so I thought I could figure out how to answer.

"Winning is something I think every driver wants. And I will keep pushing. But to win this weekend? I think I need some more time to learn the drivers around me. Get to know the grid I work with."

_

I sat across from Lando at the debriefing. Damon was next to me and Lando's engineer sat next to him. Zak was standing at the front of it all, arms crossed, staring down at us. I wanted to squirm but I didn't. I needed to just sit still and take it, like Damon said.

"Team orders are there for a reason. We do it to focus on the driver that shows the most potential for points during a race. Thankfully, it was only free practice today. We didn't lose anything but when an order comes across during a race, it needs to be held."

Both Lando and I nodded, still not saying a word. We would probably laugh about it later when we went back to the hotel or maybe he was truly pissed at me. I couldn't tell with him, not yet. I needed to learn this version of Lando.

"Lula."

I looked away from Lando, up toward Zak with a raised eyebrow. "Oui?"

"Team orders means team orders."

"Yes sir."

"Good. You have a right to race but we need to focus on Lando right now. He has the chance to win the championship and we need it."

I nodded again. Some part of me felt pushed to the side again. I was a second driver. Which, I knew that I had to be. I was the new person coming in. Of course, I was going to be the second driver. It just rubbed me wrong in the moment.

And if Damon was right, I was out performing Lando. If I had pushed sooner, when I wanted to, I would have passed him before the flag. I was listening to team orders and it took away what could have been a symbolic win. But here I was, second again.

I pushed the feeling to the side as I listened to the rest of the debrief. But it kept lingering. I wanted to prove something and how was I supposed to do that if they were limiting me. I didn't have enough points to even come close to winning in half a season but I could still fight to get points for the team.

It seemed that Damon felt the same. He was the one that wanted me to ignore what Zak said. He seemed like he was wanting me to win. Damon knew what I had to prove, what I was needing to show off. He was going to give me what I needed, I trusted him for that but when it finally came down to team rules... what was going to be the verdict?

________________________________________________________________________________

a/n: we're back slightly. is anyone getting ptsd from "papaya rules"? hehe i am. i will cry if i hear that again, i swear. but anyways, here it is. love it or don't :p