⌞ the chain ⌝

⌞ forty-two : if i cant beat them... ⌝

"At least maybe we don't have to act for George?"

_

The celebrations were fine and somehow, I made it through the post race questions. It felt like everything was a blur. All I could remember was Damon reminding me to look happy. I didn't want to. I wanted to throw myself into something that would get this anger out, work until my body was in just as much pain as the rest of my mind. But I knew what the headlines would be if I was pouting like a child, I was sure there were already so many that I was going to have to deal with. And that was more than enough to make me play nice.

"That wasn't bad, Eli."

I looked up at Arthur and smiled, or at least forced one. "It was a start."

"Don't beat yourself up."

"I'm not. Just... frustrated." I sat down on the floor, savoring the cool of the tile. "Did you go see Charlie?"

Arty sat next to me, lying back with a dramatical sigh. It caused a real smile to tug at my face. He was always quick to recognize when I was lying or just brushing everything to the side for everyone else. It had become a slight habit, one that the grid fathers had been working on fixing but it seemed it was still lingering. Like my frustration over the race.

"Yeah, congratulated him."

"Good, I'm glad you got to see him."

I could feel him looking at me and I knew what he was going to ask. I had made eye contact with him when he was standing on the podium, it was the closest I had gotten to saying anything to him. I didn't need to say anything, that was what I was telling myself. But the truth was, I didn't know what to say to him. It felt like there was no way to start a conversation. Small talk didn't feel bearable and deep conversations weren't meant to be had on the track. It would just have to wait.

_

It was that time again. A week had passed and I was back on another plane. Arty had gone home, something going on with Father and what not. I didn't think too much about it. If it was something important, I'm sure the information would get back to me at some point. I had moved past them, separating myself but they were still family and I was still apart of it, no matter how much they wanted to forget me.

"What's running through that mind of yours, kid?"

I looked up at Damon, watching as he sat across from me, typing away on that tablet of his as if he was hiding the statistics from me. I knew what the numbers said, how I had fallen off. We still hadn't talked about everything and what happened on the track, I didn't even know where to start with it. It was like I had suddenly become a nine year old girl again, watching as my other half had suddenly become so much more than me. Like a switch had flipped.

"Just talk about the stats, Damon."

"If you insist." He sighed as he adjusted in the plane seat. "You were doing fantastic, a solid number ratio to what we had talked about and then... the drop. Lu, what happened?"

I knew there was no way I was getting out of this. Damon wasn't going to let it go because one, he could see right through me. And while we had fought over the change to Redbull, him saying I needed more time to grow and recover, he was still the only person I had trusted with it. To lead me. As he had said, we were the same person. And two, it had affected my race. That was enough to make him push.

"My dad. I saw a flash of a memory. My father telling me I would never be anything."

"This is the first time it happened?"

I nodded. "I have no clue why it happened, honestly."

"Could it be due to you racing Charles? I know it could be a long shot but you've told me enough that I know there was competition between you two. And it would make sense that the first time you race him, you're reminded of that."

I raised an eyebrow, not because he was wrong but because it made more sense than anything I would have guessed at. It was something lingering in the back of my head but it wasn't anything that I would have admitted. It was a deep cut I hadn't realized was still so raw. Charlie was the reason, not that it was his fault, but racing him had opened up some dark part of me that held an anger. A frustration that I was just as skilled, if not more and I had been pushed aside only because I was a sister and not a brother.

"So what do we do about it?"

Damon smiled, a familiar one that told me there was a part of that old racing fire he had, planning something. "Take that anger, use it."

_

Media day had arrived and I had decided I was going to play into the headlines. They wanted a spoiled brat, a bitch, a vengeful twin, a broken girl. They were going to get that. I would play into my strengths. I knew fashion but Lewis had taught me so much more. Dior wasn't my strong suit, it fit and it was exactly my style. But I wasn't playing nice and soft. No, no. This was a YSL moment. Red bottom heels, all black, sunglasses to cover the glare I was giving most anyone and Damon, much to his dismay and refusal of me spending the money, had let me take the win and he was matching. If only in color.

"Stop it."

"I don't like being flashy."

I snorted, shaking my head at him as he walked into the paddock. "Accept it, it will only get worse from here."

"And why is that?"

I paused to sign some things, take pictures, speak with a few fans. It felt nice to do this. This was real, these were the people that supported me, the ones that stayed wand didn't just care for what headline told them who to cheer for. Most of them being young girls, that was what I enjoyed. I didn't ever think I'd be a role model but as I walked down the paddock, seeing all these young girls who had been wearing my number... it was surreal. These girls saw me as someone to look up to and that was enough to keep me going. There were people who counted on me.

Damon joined back up with me as we made it past. I saw the look he gave me as I ignored all the reporters. I was playing a game, one he was slowly starting to figure out. And that was the fun part. I linked my arm with his, throwing up a smile.

"Oh, come on now. If I'm going to be their villain, I might as well look good doing it. And happiness is the same price as red bottoms."

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a/n: lu villain arc?? who's ready for it? ha... get it? ready for it? like the taylor swift song... no? okay. well. as they say, redbull is the place that formula one villains are made. let it be lu's turn. she might be following seb right now but OH WELL. aha. anyways, as always. love it or don't :p