A "fine" life

chapter 40

"Jc get your butt out here right this minute." It was early in the morning and I was too tired to be fully awake. My eyes were squeezed shut but I could still hear every word. Connor seemed angry. I'm nor sure why.
I felt a slight shift and heard foot steps. "Connor what's the problem?" Jc's morning voice was quite and low, but soothing. "The problem? Your in bed with my Sister! You know I thought you could handle being around her. She's been through enough she doesn't need to be a piece in your stupid game. You hurt her once, not agian. So get out. Leave her alone. She doesn't need this, she doesn't need you. So just back off!" Connor's words were rushed did he really think that I wanted a relationship with Jc, no I just wanted a friend. "Look Connor I did not sleep with your sister/cousin. I came in here last night after I read the note she left. I'm just trying to help her."
I heard heavy breathing probaly coming from Connor. "What note. Why do you think she needs help she's fine." Connor sounded tired, confused and angry all at the same time. "Connor are you really that oblivious. She doesn't want to be here anymore. And I don't just mean this town I mean anywhere. She wants to die. And so I'm trying really hard to get her to enjoy the life she has, because seeing her makes me feel like she doesn't have much time left, whne I know she could have forever and more." Jc rushed his words and cracked his voice near the end. "Jc you think I didn't notice, I saw the scars. I saw the pain. But I also saw her try to he happy. And I know if I bug her about it she'll get sad and close off I'm going to do my best as her brother to keep that smile alive, to always see the light in her eyes. I'll always be there for her but I won't force her to be anything. She doesn't need a push she needs love. So in all honesty I'm trying to back off. She's my sister and I love her more than words can say. She doesn't need all this attention that's not how she works. She just needs love as she goes and support. And she needs stability." Connor now seemed like the protective older brother we all knew he was.
"Connor man you know I love you but you need to shut up. You forget I've known her longer than you. What she needs is someone who will devote all their time to her. And that guy can be me. So back off if you will, but don't you dare tell me I'm doing the wrong thing. I know her Connor you don't." Jc was beyond mad but I could hear in his voice that he was holding back. "Jc if you know her so well why did you hurt her so bad?" That was it the ending point to the arguement. And though Connor never said it, all his tone made me think was "leave."
My mind raced to continue the storey it had just made. As I awoke for real this time, reality and my real feeling dream where nowhere near the same. I got up with no one next to me, warmth that never was there still missing. As I aproached my door I saw a sticky note written by Jc. "You fell asleep so I went to connor's room ~love Jc" So maybe he didn't argue with Connor trying to help me, but I had this feeling he cared. And that was all I really needed from him, from anyone really. A declaration that they cared for me. That they loved me. And I had one stuck to my door tiredly written by a sleepy Jc.