A "fine" life

Chapter 20

I woke up with a sharp pain cutting into my head. Just another side affect of my bulimia. The pain is getting worse every second I lie awake. I got up only to find everyone gone. That's great! I'm alone a have a massive headache and I miss Jc. A tear escaped my eyes.

" Hey guys it's Connor....." I turned around to see Connor taking a video of himself. I guess he's the only one home. He Reminds me of Jc. Why do I miss him. I shouldn't. He left me. He left when I needed him the most. He's not even called or texted once. The thoughts made my emotions well up inside of me. I was not sad I was angry. I slammed down my phone. Cursing under my breath. " someone's in a bad mood " Connor chuckled and pointed his camera at me.

" this is my cousin and my adopted sister Angel. " he said with a smirk. " hi I said with a fake smile. " Connor looked down at his phone, looked back up and spoke. He talked about tweeting about me and posting pictures of me on Instagram. Then he talked about the positive comments. " what are your thoughts on this ms. Angel Clark?" He asked trying to act like a reporter. " if broken is beautiful then I agree with them. If it's cool to be depressed then I agree too. If anxiety and mental disorders are what makes some one " perfect " then I agree " I said bluntly. My head really hurts. After I realized what I said I went into my room. I hadn't brought anything to cut myself with. Didn't think I'd need to. I just sat and screamed over and over. If pillows had ears I'd make mine go deaf. After i screamed. I sat in silence.

------ 2 hours later -----

Conor came in my room. He looked serious. I couldn't tell if he had cried or not. Probably not. No reason to cry he's know me for like a day now. " Angel what happened when i tried to film you? " he said a a little timid. " I told the truth. " I said bluntly. " so your depressed ? " he said looking confused. " no " I'm just not in a good mood, just leave i.! " I said still showing no emotion. " k and angel this came in the mail for you. " he handed me a letter.

" dear angel,

I love you lots. That day at the hospital you asked me to show you I love you. I'm want to prove it. My idea of love is different than yours. Your like a sister to me nothing more. I love you as family. You are family. Here's something to make you smile.

It's a poem

"You binge you purge

And sometimes splurge

You cut your skin

Agin and agin

You hate yourself way to much

You refuse to eat your lunch

You think that your alone

Just because I don't answer my phone

Your mad at me because I left

You think that I'm a heart theft

And while you think I don't love you

I do it's just not how you choose.

Through every ounce of pain.

Just remember my name.

Call on me when you have no where to go

I promise you Your not alone "

- Jc

P.s. I don't have my phone

With me I'm in Mexico with some family. "

The letter made me cry. But I was happy at the same time. I clutched the poem in my hand, and went to the living room to talk to Connor. We watched Netflix after our talk. I made the mistake of putting my poem down and falling asleep. My secrets out.