Big Time Hangout

Part 13

I was sitting there dumbfounded not knowing what to think when there was a knock at my door.

I quickly dried my eyes wondering why Katie was knocking and as I opened the door, there on the other side was James. I looked at him shocked, "What are you doing here?"

He looked at me and quietly asked if he could come in. I stepped to the side and let him in, "James we need to talk." I said but he stopped me, "Yes we do. I have been giving this a lot of thought and I don't think I can do this anymore."

I started to laugh, "James it's been a whole twenty-four hours. How do you know this isn't going to work?"

He took my hand and sat me on the bed sitting next to me, "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you some bull about why it won't. I'm just going to be honest, and you tell me what I think."

I nodded at him, and he continued, "When the guys were hugging you telling you goodbye it did something to me. I can't stand the thought of having to hide you from the world. I can't stand being jealous of my best friends being around you. I can't keep sane going on like this. We either have to make it public or we have to stop now before I lose my mind." and he started to cry, "I don't want to lose you, but I don't feel like you're really mine as long as we have to hide everything. I hope you understand."

My eyes started to fill with tears. I really liked James, but I honestly felt he was right. It was not fair to keep hiding from the world just because I couldn't make up my mind. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing would come out. I wanted to tell him everything and let the chips fall where they may, but I just couldn't seem to get words to come out of my mouth.

He grabbed me and kissed me passionately and then with tears flowing down his face said, "Goodbye (yn). You will always have a special place in my heart and a best friend in me. I hope maybe one day you will change your mind." and before I could say anything else he was gone.

I sat back on my bed even more confused than I was before. The tears were flowing more freely than they ever had and I buried my face in my pillow. I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard Katie, "Sis what's wrong. What did James want?"

I sat up and she could see the mess that I was, and I told her what just happened. She smiled at me, "See Sis its already started."

I look at her puzzled, "What were you talking about?"

She hit me playfully, "Well that is one that you don't have to worry about anymore. Now you just have three to choose from. You said coming home would change things and its already started."

I hugged her and as much as I wanted to know she was right it didn't change the fact that somewhere deep inside me I felt like dying. What if it was James I was wanting to try with? and another part of me said, If James had been worth the try he wouldn't had given up so easily.

Katie got up, "I have to go with mom to run some errands for my party tomorrow. Are you going to be okay?" she asked.

I nodded and as soon as the door closed I buried my head back in my pillow and cried myself back to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later with someone's arms around me. I rolled over expecting to see Katie but instead I was looking straight into Logan's eyes.

"Well good morning." he said. "Sorry I scared you. I just wanted to see you while I had the time."

I sat up quickly, "What? How?"

He smiled sitting up, "I had to fly into Texas to see about my mom and I thought I would stop off here on my way back." he said. "I hope you're not mad. I know you said you would call me later, but I just wanted to see you."